Well, it's sad but true. I've been blogging on this site for over a year and a half and it is now coming to an end. However, I will not be leaving the world of blogging (how could I??). I have kept a separate photography blog all along and as I'm moving more towards defining myself as a photographer, I feel I should simply have the one blog where I write about everything from my personal life to my career adventures in one spot. No doubt, the photography blog will probably never be as deep or personal as this has gotten...but then again, who am I kidding? I will always be an open book. Please join me at the new blog where it'll still be me, just with pictures :)
This will be the last entry for this blog.
Thursday, April 30
Saturday, April 11
So Happy - So ME!
Woooohoooo! I finished rebuilding my website today and I LOVE IT! lol. Seriously, this whole branding thing has opened my eyes to something I've been telling other people for years...there is no one else in the world like you. You are unique, celebrate what makes you YOU. It's a duh statement, but how many times do we go around in circles trying to figure out who we are "supposed" to be, when the answer is staring us in the mirror? Geez.
I was hard pressed to design a logo so I always just used my company name - until I realized today that the way I've always signed my initials looks like YLD (used to look like YTD) because I do it in script with a circle around it. So I wrote it, scanned it, and TADA - instant logo :) Love it.
I'm just so happy to finally have a website that reflects who I am and what I'm all about. I'm going to be adding videos and other fun content to build a community and keep people coming back to the site.
Please check it out and leave me your feedback. xoxo
www.yadiralaguerre.com
I was hard pressed to design a logo so I always just used my company name - until I realized today that the way I've always signed my initials looks like YLD (used to look like YTD) because I do it in script with a circle around it. So I wrote it, scanned it, and TADA - instant logo :) Love it.
I'm just so happy to finally have a website that reflects who I am and what I'm all about. I'm going to be adding videos and other fun content to build a community and keep people coming back to the site.
Please check it out and leave me your feedback. xoxo
www.yadiralaguerre.com
Thursday, April 9
Branding and Marketing
"Don't look at someone else's cake (finished product) and lament because yours doesn't look like that. Realize that you have all the right ingredients - mix it up and make your own cake!" - Thesha Bove (my good friend)
I have been led lately to reinvent myself as a photographer/business person. I started last year and strictly put myself in a box as a children's photographer. Everything from my website to my business cards were geared towards getting that market. Yet the people who have sought out my services have been musicians, actors, models and entrepreneurs. I realized that I truly enjoy photographing adults, and if I need a children fix, I've got my own beautiful subjects :) Not that I will never take pictures of other families and children again, but I'm just busting out of that box.
So in my quest to market and brand myself, I reconnected with a good friend from years ago, Thesha Bove. We attended the same church at the time (the infamous Jesus Is Lord) and have both since gone in separate directions. I had no idea that she is a marketing guru extraordinaire in the making. She has in two conversations reawakened me and lit me on fiyah! It's nice to have someone else do that for you when you absolutely love doing it for others (what's that thing about sowing and reaping? lol). Everything I had read said I had to pick a certain aspect of photography, that I had to label myself. She made me realize that I am a photojournalist, an editorial photographer, one who tells the story through pictures...and that story can be anything. She confirmed that the best advertising I can do is through networking (which I've avoided but can totally get into). She reminded me that my image needs to be edgy and artsy (which my friend Tarsha told me years ago). That completely resonates with me.
In searching out different branding/marketing articles on the web, I inadvertently came across Jasmine Star, a born again photographer from California. She is absolutely amazing and speaks to me on so many levels. She left law school to become a photographer after being inspired by her own wedding photographer (David Jay) and is now at the top of her industry after only two years. When Thesha told me the girl reminds her of me, I was floored. Seriously? That's when she said what I quoted at the top of this page. I am so super excited to mix up my own ingredients and get a cake, instead of trying to get the ingredients that will make all the pretty cakes I've seen. David Jay is another born again photographer from California who is equally amazing. He tours the country and gives lectures about photography. I just became his fan on facebook (lol).
I say all this to say that today I am inspired. I am inspired by my friend, Thesha, who has marvelously gotten me back on track. I am inspired by these two wonderful photographers that I've never met who are bold bodacious Christians, excellent in what they do. Most of all, I must say, I am inspired by all the wonderful things that are in ME that I get to pull out and use to paint a beautiful tapestry. I've spent so much time pulling out the gifts in others compared to the amount of time I've spent looking inward to find out what Yah put in me. I have a feeling there's some good stuff in there and I'm looking forward to what my own "brand" will look like. Let the baking begin!
I have been led lately to reinvent myself as a photographer/business person. I started last year and strictly put myself in a box as a children's photographer. Everything from my website to my business cards were geared towards getting that market. Yet the people who have sought out my services have been musicians, actors, models and entrepreneurs. I realized that I truly enjoy photographing adults, and if I need a children fix, I've got my own beautiful subjects :) Not that I will never take pictures of other families and children again, but I'm just busting out of that box.
So in my quest to market and brand myself, I reconnected with a good friend from years ago, Thesha Bove. We attended the same church at the time (the infamous Jesus Is Lord) and have both since gone in separate directions. I had no idea that she is a marketing guru extraordinaire in the making. She has in two conversations reawakened me and lit me on fiyah! It's nice to have someone else do that for you when you absolutely love doing it for others (what's that thing about sowing and reaping? lol). Everything I had read said I had to pick a certain aspect of photography, that I had to label myself. She made me realize that I am a photojournalist, an editorial photographer, one who tells the story through pictures...and that story can be anything. She confirmed that the best advertising I can do is through networking (which I've avoided but can totally get into). She reminded me that my image needs to be edgy and artsy (which my friend Tarsha told me years ago). That completely resonates with me.
In searching out different branding/marketing articles on the web, I inadvertently came across Jasmine Star, a born again photographer from California. She is absolutely amazing and speaks to me on so many levels. She left law school to become a photographer after being inspired by her own wedding photographer (David Jay) and is now at the top of her industry after only two years. When Thesha told me the girl reminds her of me, I was floored. Seriously? That's when she said what I quoted at the top of this page. I am so super excited to mix up my own ingredients and get a cake, instead of trying to get the ingredients that will make all the pretty cakes I've seen. David Jay is another born again photographer from California who is equally amazing. He tours the country and gives lectures about photography. I just became his fan on facebook (lol).
I say all this to say that today I am inspired. I am inspired by my friend, Thesha, who has marvelously gotten me back on track. I am inspired by these two wonderful photographers that I've never met who are bold bodacious Christians, excellent in what they do. Most of all, I must say, I am inspired by all the wonderful things that are in ME that I get to pull out and use to paint a beautiful tapestry. I've spent so much time pulling out the gifts in others compared to the amount of time I've spent looking inward to find out what Yah put in me. I have a feeling there's some good stuff in there and I'm looking forward to what my own "brand" will look like. Let the baking begin!
Wednesday, April 1
My church life...then and now.
Pierre went to work and left me the car so I could join him at church later. He told me to let him know if I wasn't going to come so he could find an alternate way home. The very fact that I would even consider not going to church with a car sitting in my driveway sparked a lot of internal questions. I actually didn't end up going because it was raining - but there was a time in my life when that would not have been an excuse.
Say what you want to say about Jesus Is Lord Church in Holtsville, Long Island, but that place kept me on target. We had Monday night prayer, Wednesday night choir practice, Thursday night service, Friday night dance practice, Saturday night Cross Fire (youth) and Sunday morning service. Yes, folks, I was in church at least 6 days a week...when we had a special guest or tent revival it was sometimes two weeks straight, twice on some days. Did anything stop me from going to church then? Nothing. Seriously, NO THING.
I got into a car accident on the way to church once; totalled my brother's car. I called for a ride and still went to church that night. There were many times I didn't have a ride - I would walk the 4.5 miles, most of which was along a busy highway with no sidewalk. I took taxis to church a few times. There was one time I drove to church in a serious blizzard, with my muffler dragging in the snow behind me the entire way. Those are just a few of the things I remember doing to get to church. There was never an option not to go...and I most certainly was never stopped by rain.
When I first started coming to Faith Exchange, the fervor carried over. I would leave work early for midweek service so I could catch the LIRR and get to church. I would take that same LIRR home and arrive back in Long Island after 1am. I was a live-in tutor at the time with a very nice family who used to wait up for me every week to turn off the alarm and let me in. I did a lot of crazy things to get to church back then. Tonight I was stopped by rain.
Well, Yadira, you have a family now. You can't be doing all those crazy things with two young ones. True. I wouldn't do the things I did back then...but drive my own car door to door? That's hardly crazy. The fact is that although Faith Exchange is my church home, something(s) is/are missing - and have been for a while. I have the main course, but without the appetizer or the dessert. I have the green smoothie without the fruit, the raw diet without guacamole...the pasteles without the ketchup!! Until I find the pieces to fill in those missing parts, the rain that once spelled blessing and melodies from heaven only serves to douse my fire. I love Yeshua. I do. ...and I need more.
Say what you want to say about Jesus Is Lord Church in Holtsville, Long Island, but that place kept me on target. We had Monday night prayer, Wednesday night choir practice, Thursday night service, Friday night dance practice, Saturday night Cross Fire (youth) and Sunday morning service. Yes, folks, I was in church at least 6 days a week...when we had a special guest or tent revival it was sometimes two weeks straight, twice on some days. Did anything stop me from going to church then? Nothing. Seriously, NO THING.
I got into a car accident on the way to church once; totalled my brother's car. I called for a ride and still went to church that night. There were many times I didn't have a ride - I would walk the 4.5 miles, most of which was along a busy highway with no sidewalk. I took taxis to church a few times. There was one time I drove to church in a serious blizzard, with my muffler dragging in the snow behind me the entire way. Those are just a few of the things I remember doing to get to church. There was never an option not to go...and I most certainly was never stopped by rain.
When I first started coming to Faith Exchange, the fervor carried over. I would leave work early for midweek service so I could catch the LIRR and get to church. I would take that same LIRR home and arrive back in Long Island after 1am. I was a live-in tutor at the time with a very nice family who used to wait up for me every week to turn off the alarm and let me in. I did a lot of crazy things to get to church back then. Tonight I was stopped by rain.
Well, Yadira, you have a family now. You can't be doing all those crazy things with two young ones. True. I wouldn't do the things I did back then...but drive my own car door to door? That's hardly crazy. The fact is that although Faith Exchange is my church home, something(s) is/are missing - and have been for a while. I have the main course, but without the appetizer or the dessert. I have the green smoothie without the fruit, the raw diet without guacamole...the pasteles without the ketchup!! Until I find the pieces to fill in those missing parts, the rain that once spelled blessing and melodies from heaven only serves to douse my fire. I love Yeshua. I do. ...and I need more.
Saturday, March 28
The power of prayer - oops.
This past Tuesday was my birthday. I realize I didn't write anything on that day so I just wanted to jot down for my own memory that it was really nice. My dad called first thing in the morning to sing Happy Birthday to me (which is the best gift I could ever receive from him). Him and Gladys got to speak to Joshua and Juliette - yes, Juliette. She talks a lot at a little less than 3 months. It was cute. I also got dozens upon dozens upon dozens of cheers and regards from my friends through facebook. Pierre and I took the evening to eat at Pure Food and Wine in Manhattan, and we saw the moving Knowing (Nicholas Cage, one of my favorite actors). I didn't enjoy those activities much except that I was with my best friend and that made it wonderful.
Ok, so now on to today. I had a slumber party last night and there were about 13 ladies plus me. We stayed up talking until after 5am. One of the subjects we touched was knowing that I Am. We pondered the question, what if we walked in our authority to such a level that everything we said literally came to pass exactly when we said it? A lot of us would have to live with regret until we got our tongues in order. Well, little did I know that I was walking that out.
Earlier in the week my pastor asked if he could come to the slumber party and speak with the women for about an hour. I reluctantly said yes. I say reluctantly in all honesty because I really wanted the women to have a night of rest and relaxation, where they just spoke openly to one another and could enjoy being with other women of like faith. The entire week I was complaining, literally, about how I didn't want him to come and do some heavy thing. I wanted the get together to be light and fun. I even prayed, "Yahweh, please just let him not come somehow. Speak to him or something and convince him not to come." I didn't believe that prayer for a second because obviously I thought my pastor had the upper hand in getting his desires across before my selfish desires. I was wrong.
The night progressed and everyone got here. Turned out I was the only one who really didn't want him here. Everyone kept asking for him, looking forward to hearing what he had to say. We kept calling him on his cell phone and only got his voice mail. The women all stayed up talking, laughing, ministering, praying, and laughing some more until around 5am - but something was missing. Pastor Dan never showed up.
I found him on facebook just now and IM'd him. Here's the conversation:
8:52amYadira
pastor dan we missed you last night
Dan
Oh my gosh.... My wife was in such severe pain that I completely spaced it. We had her in the doctors office.
I am so sorry.
Yadira
her teeth again?
is she ok??
:(
Dan
No, not this time. It was her hand. It is all swollen.
Oh, my gosh... I can't believe I did that. I didn't even remember until you said something. Please give my love to everybody and my sincerest apologies. Wow... I never do that. Something must have completely blocked me.
Yadira
wow - well you know you were exactly where you needed to be exactly when you needed to be there. no worries...:) her hand - is that random or did she do something to it?
Dan
It seems random. It has an infection. She didn't cut it or sprain it. I hope you had a wonderful evening.
Yadira
we had a girly evening of talking, talking and more talking. went to bed after 5am
Yeshua was lifted up. it was good
Dan
Great. How many ladies? Sonya, Drea, Neubela, Rachael, Eunice, Kim M., Jo,
Yadira
Drea's 2 friends, Christine patterson, kelly jones, Jo rolle,
not eunice
Dan
Kelly, Christine, Dreas friends? Kiana
Yadira
tamiko and yvonne comordo
Dan
nice...
Yadira
Drea's friends Aya and catherine
gloria bradford
satoya
i think that's it. 13 in all, + me
At that point he went offline. So my question is, how many levels of that is my doing? Him not coming? Him completely forgetting, which caused him not to come? Pastor Annie having an infection in her hand, which caused him to forget, which caused him not to come?? I'm a bit sobered right now, and sad that I let my own flesh get in the way of whatever blessing was meant for the ladies last night. I don't believe anything is coincidence, and although I am a firm believer that things happen the way they should - I don't think they happened the way they should've last night. I think last night was simple sowing and reaping on my part, and my reaping had negative affects on other people. That's real.
Ok, so now on to today. I had a slumber party last night and there were about 13 ladies plus me. We stayed up talking until after 5am. One of the subjects we touched was knowing that I Am. We pondered the question, what if we walked in our authority to such a level that everything we said literally came to pass exactly when we said it? A lot of us would have to live with regret until we got our tongues in order. Well, little did I know that I was walking that out.
Earlier in the week my pastor asked if he could come to the slumber party and speak with the women for about an hour. I reluctantly said yes. I say reluctantly in all honesty because I really wanted the women to have a night of rest and relaxation, where they just spoke openly to one another and could enjoy being with other women of like faith. The entire week I was complaining, literally, about how I didn't want him to come and do some heavy thing. I wanted the get together to be light and fun. I even prayed, "Yahweh, please just let him not come somehow. Speak to him or something and convince him not to come." I didn't believe that prayer for a second because obviously I thought my pastor had the upper hand in getting his desires across before my selfish desires. I was wrong.
The night progressed and everyone got here. Turned out I was the only one who really didn't want him here. Everyone kept asking for him, looking forward to hearing what he had to say. We kept calling him on his cell phone and only got his voice mail. The women all stayed up talking, laughing, ministering, praying, and laughing some more until around 5am - but something was missing. Pastor Dan never showed up.
I found him on facebook just now and IM'd him. Here's the conversation:
8:52amYadira
pastor dan we missed you last night
Dan
Oh my gosh.... My wife was in such severe pain that I completely spaced it. We had her in the doctors office.
I am so sorry.
Yadira
her teeth again?
is she ok??
:(
Dan
No, not this time. It was her hand. It is all swollen.
Oh, my gosh... I can't believe I did that. I didn't even remember until you said something. Please give my love to everybody and my sincerest apologies. Wow... I never do that. Something must have completely blocked me.
Yadira
wow - well you know you were exactly where you needed to be exactly when you needed to be there. no worries...:) her hand - is that random or did she do something to it?
Dan
It seems random. It has an infection. She didn't cut it or sprain it. I hope you had a wonderful evening.
Yadira
we had a girly evening of talking, talking and more talking. went to bed after 5am
Yeshua was lifted up. it was good
Dan
Great. How many ladies? Sonya, Drea, Neubela, Rachael, Eunice, Kim M., Jo,
Yadira
Drea's 2 friends, Christine patterson, kelly jones, Jo rolle,
not eunice
Dan
Kelly, Christine, Dreas friends? Kiana
Yadira
tamiko and yvonne comordo
Dan
nice...
Yadira
Drea's friends Aya and catherine
gloria bradford
satoya
i think that's it. 13 in all, + me
At that point he went offline. So my question is, how many levels of that is my doing? Him not coming? Him completely forgetting, which caused him not to come? Pastor Annie having an infection in her hand, which caused him to forget, which caused him not to come?? I'm a bit sobered right now, and sad that I let my own flesh get in the way of whatever blessing was meant for the ladies last night. I don't believe anything is coincidence, and although I am a firm believer that things happen the way they should - I don't think they happened the way they should've last night. I think last night was simple sowing and reaping on my part, and my reaping had negative affects on other people. That's real.
Wednesday, March 25
Calling ALL married ladies...let me TRASH YOUR DRESS!
This is a casting call for any woman who would be willing to put on their wedding dress one last time for some amazing photos...
Why suffocate your wedding dress in a box for the rest of its life? You are married now and you have wonderful memories to cherish from your unforgettable day! You know darn well your daughter will not want to wear your dress 20-30 years from now! lol
Why settle for your beautiful gown being stashed away in a closet somewhere when you have the possibility of getting some amazing photos - you sure paid enough for it. Bring your dresses out, steam them or have them pressed and put them on for the photo shoot of a lifetime!
I am not talking about posed, every day, and sometimes rather boring wedding photos. I'm talking about edgy, artsy, wild and crazy editorial type photos. I need to build my TTD portfolio, so I'm offering this to my friends for $35. You read right! This is something I will be charging hundreds of dollars for. You can take advantage now for this incredible low price + you will get a few prints of your favorite photos as my gift to you. Hey - throw a suit on your hubby and get him involved, too! I'm willing to do (6) of these shoots. First come, first served.
Why suffocate your wedding dress in a box for the rest of its life? You are married now and you have wonderful memories to cherish from your unforgettable day! You know darn well your daughter will not want to wear your dress 20-30 years from now! lol
Why settle for your beautiful gown being stashed away in a closet somewhere when you have the possibility of getting some amazing photos - you sure paid enough for it. Bring your dresses out, steam them or have them pressed and put them on for the photo shoot of a lifetime!
I am not talking about posed, every day, and sometimes rather boring wedding photos. I'm talking about edgy, artsy, wild and crazy editorial type photos. I need to build my TTD portfolio, so I'm offering this to my friends for $35. You read right! This is something I will be charging hundreds of dollars for. You can take advantage now for this incredible low price + you will get a few prints of your favorite photos as my gift to you. Hey - throw a suit on your hubby and get him involved, too! I'm willing to do (6) of these shoots. First come, first served.
Monday, March 16
Monday: Weekend Update
Soooo...on Friday Pierre went away to a men's retreat and I was here with the kiddos all weekend. We actually had a great time. Friday night I watched The Family Man after I put Joshua in bed. I really enjoy Nicholas Cage in all his movies. The Family Man is an oldie but a goodie. I liked it. Catch it on Hulu if you haven't seen it.
On Saturday I opened my business bank account - yay! I'm officially official. The fact that I have to have $1000 minimum in the account after the first year bothered me a bit, though. Not because I don't think I'll have $1000, but because with everything the way it is I want to stay as liquid as possible. I realize now, though, that $1000 is not a lot to have tied up when you consider the big picture. I'm sure there are business accounts that require more. Then again, what do I know? I'm just happy to be legal.
After the bank I took the kiddos to the park. Watching Joshua in public places with other children is always amusing to me. He literally went and stood in the middle of the playground to watch all the children. He's the supervisor, always has been. He finally decided to play, and even that is funny. He was running up and down the ramp saying, "Weeeeee!" I didn't bother explaining to him that the ramp is not "the fun part" of the playground. He seemed to think it was. Eventually he made it over to a slide.
That night we went to celebrate my friend's 40th birthday in the city. Joshua danced the night away and Juliette smiled at everyone who came over to say hello. It was a lot of fun. We didn't leave there until midnight, and then I had to drive back to Jersey. You would think Joshua conked out in the car as soon as he got into his seat - but no. He was talking the whole way home, mostly about all the foods he ate. He had a blast.
Speaking of food – let me just go on record as saying that cooked food sucks. I've been eating cooked foods all weekend and I feel like crap...lethargic, foggy, heavy. The dark circles under my eyes are back, I’m craving junk food and I’m tossing in my sleep. That said, I had THE MOST AMAZING toasted almond cake the whole weekend and that, my friends, was worth it all. Back to raw.
Sunday was chill. I overslept and missed church, so I took the kiddos to the local park. Today I spent a good portion of the day updating my website. I got my exercise videos in the mail - watched one with Joshua. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it!
Oh my goodness…I almost forgot the best part of the whole weekend. On Sunday night, my friend (Barbara Lindorme) called to pray with me. We used to pray together all the time back when I was single. We talked for a little bit, set up a weekly time to pray, and decided to pray a little right then and there since we were already on the phone. Well let me just say that I haven’t cried like that in a long time. We both wept because of the presence of the Lord. It was cleansing, affirming, beautiful. I was so inspired that I was actually going to pray on the daily prayer call this morning instead of just listen…but I fell asleep a few minutes into it. Darn cooked foods. :)
On Saturday I opened my business bank account - yay! I'm officially official. The fact that I have to have $1000 minimum in the account after the first year bothered me a bit, though. Not because I don't think I'll have $1000, but because with everything the way it is I want to stay as liquid as possible. I realize now, though, that $1000 is not a lot to have tied up when you consider the big picture. I'm sure there are business accounts that require more. Then again, what do I know? I'm just happy to be legal.
After the bank I took the kiddos to the park. Watching Joshua in public places with other children is always amusing to me. He literally went and stood in the middle of the playground to watch all the children. He's the supervisor, always has been. He finally decided to play, and even that is funny. He was running up and down the ramp saying, "Weeeeee!" I didn't bother explaining to him that the ramp is not "the fun part" of the playground. He seemed to think it was. Eventually he made it over to a slide.
That night we went to celebrate my friend's 40th birthday in the city. Joshua danced the night away and Juliette smiled at everyone who came over to say hello. It was a lot of fun. We didn't leave there until midnight, and then I had to drive back to Jersey. You would think Joshua conked out in the car as soon as he got into his seat - but no. He was talking the whole way home, mostly about all the foods he ate. He had a blast.
Speaking of food – let me just go on record as saying that cooked food sucks. I've been eating cooked foods all weekend and I feel like crap...lethargic, foggy, heavy. The dark circles under my eyes are back, I’m craving junk food and I’m tossing in my sleep. That said, I had THE MOST AMAZING toasted almond cake the whole weekend and that, my friends, was worth it all. Back to raw.
Sunday was chill. I overslept and missed church, so I took the kiddos to the local park. Today I spent a good portion of the day updating my website. I got my exercise videos in the mail - watched one with Joshua. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it!
Oh my goodness…I almost forgot the best part of the whole weekend. On Sunday night, my friend (Barbara Lindorme) called to pray with me. We used to pray together all the time back when I was single. We talked for a little bit, set up a weekly time to pray, and decided to pray a little right then and there since we were already on the phone. Well let me just say that I haven’t cried like that in a long time. We both wept because of the presence of the Lord. It was cleansing, affirming, beautiful. I was so inspired that I was actually going to pray on the daily prayer call this morning instead of just listen…but I fell asleep a few minutes into it. Darn cooked foods. :)
Thursday, March 12
Thursday: I did it!
This morning I woke up bright and early to take the car before Pierre had to leave for client meetings. I drove down to that court and registered my trade name in Bergen County - yay! It was one of the easiest things I've ever done in my life...why the heck did I wait so long? Fear of the unknown. I had to fill out a piece of paper with like 5 basic questions, look through some huge archaic book to make sure my business name wasn't already taken, sign my name four times and pay $52. Seriously. That was it. I am the official business owner of YL Designs. I feel like registering SIX businesses! lol. This weekend I will open my business bank account.
I spent the rest of the day playing with my children, scanning old photos into fb and reading people's responses to them. I'll start on a schedule next week. Haha:)
Oh yeah...I almost forgot! I started listening to this interview about the affects of gluten on the body. Really interesting! ...And as an update, I am officially at my pre-Juliette pregnancy weight (178 lbs)! My next goal is to get to my pre-Joshua pregnancy weight (155 lbs).
I spent the rest of the day playing with my children, scanning old photos into fb and reading people's responses to them. I'll start on a schedule next week. Haha:)
Oh yeah...I almost forgot! I started listening to this interview about the affects of gluten on the body. Really interesting! ...And as an update, I am officially at my pre-Juliette pregnancy weight (178 lbs)! My next goal is to get to my pre-Joshua pregnancy weight (155 lbs).
Wednesday, March 11
Wednesday: Left without excuses
I am a work from home mom of two small children. I run a business and a household, with a women's ministry on the back burner. It's pretty difficult for me to get a decent amount of things done on any given day - and definitely no where near the amount of things that need to get done in a week . I've had a lot of "reasons" for my lack of efficiency. I'm pregnant. I have a newborn. I have a toddler. I'm pregnant and have a toddler. I have a newborn and a toddler. Pierre and I want f-o-u-r children. This life cycle is pretty much going to be a part of my life for a very long while. It's about time to stop letting them be excuses.
Joshua slept over his grandma's house last night and Pierre was at customer meetings all day. It was just Juliette and me in the house all day long. I finished editing the photos from last Friday's shoot and I washed a few dishes. Other than that, I don't know where the day went...and there was no Joshua around to blame it on. As much as I hate to admit it, I need a schedule. Coming from one 9-5 desk job after another, to a place where I was free to do whatever whenever, I avoided the "S" word for many years. If I'm going to accomplish all the grand things in my mind and heart, I need to buckle down and structure my days. Tomorrow I will make a schedule.
Oh, I ordered some exercise DVDs from amazon today. They should be here next week. Healthy eating, business legalities, disciplines, clutter busting, schedules and exercise. Got it.
PS: The highlight of my day was this evening when Juliette laughed and laughed as we played peek-a-boo together for the first time :P She thinks I'm funny - I rock.
Joshua slept over his grandma's house last night and Pierre was at customer meetings all day. It was just Juliette and me in the house all day long. I finished editing the photos from last Friday's shoot and I washed a few dishes. Other than that, I don't know where the day went...and there was no Joshua around to blame it on. As much as I hate to admit it, I need a schedule. Coming from one 9-5 desk job after another, to a place where I was free to do whatever whenever, I avoided the "S" word for many years. If I'm going to accomplish all the grand things in my mind and heart, I need to buckle down and structure my days. Tomorrow I will make a schedule.
Oh, I ordered some exercise DVDs from amazon today. They should be here next week. Healthy eating, business legalities, disciplines, clutter busting, schedules and exercise. Got it.
PS: The highlight of my day was this evening when Juliette laughed and laughed as we played peek-a-boo together for the first time :P She thinks I'm funny - I rock.
Tuesday, March 10
Tuesday: soooo quiet
I woke up this morning determined to make my business legal down at the courthouse today. The combination of Pierre's work schedule and the court's schedule, however, got me there the moment they were closing. I will get it done this week for sure. I'm going to make it a sole proprietorship for now so that I don't need a separate tax ID number and can still do business as myself. Look at me talking all this legal mumbo jumbo. I'm excited to pay taxes from my own business. Really. I'm not excited about what they will be used for, but that's a whole other blog.
My mil requested that Joshua sleep over tonight since she's off tomorrow, so it has been a quiet evening at the Laguerre household. She informed me of some photography contest they're doing at the hospital where she works. The theme is "quiet time". Since before Juliette was born, I was picturing putting her in this yellow onesie with a frilly yellow skirt and leg warmers, sleeping on a big 'ole stuffed sheep. I figured this quiet evening would be a perfect time to take that shot, especially since it fits the theme of this contest.
Unfortunately, waiting for her to fit into THE outfit I wanted her to wear meant that she is now too large to lay on a stuffed sheep. It wasn't holding her weight, and she no longer likes to be in that cute little curled up sleeping position. Maybe I'll try that shot with my next newborn, several years from now. I'll probably end up entering the picture of her sleeping in the basket. The winning photos will get placed in patient rooms to encourage rest and healing. What a nice thing to do.
So the sheep idea didn't work, but I'm going to put her in that yellow outfit again and take some other pictures - she is too cute.
My mil requested that Joshua sleep over tonight since she's off tomorrow, so it has been a quiet evening at the Laguerre household. She informed me of some photography contest they're doing at the hospital where she works. The theme is "quiet time". Since before Juliette was born, I was picturing putting her in this yellow onesie with a frilly yellow skirt and leg warmers, sleeping on a big 'ole stuffed sheep. I figured this quiet evening would be a perfect time to take that shot, especially since it fits the theme of this contest.
Unfortunately, waiting for her to fit into THE outfit I wanted her to wear meant that she is now too large to lay on a stuffed sheep. It wasn't holding her weight, and she no longer likes to be in that cute little curled up sleeping position. Maybe I'll try that shot with my next newborn, several years from now. I'll probably end up entering the picture of her sleeping in the basket. The winning photos will get placed in patient rooms to encourage rest and healing. What a nice thing to do.
So the sheep idea didn't work, but I'm going to put her in that yellow outfit again and take some other pictures - she is too cute.
Monday, March 9
Monday: Getting down to business
I am an artist. In pure artist form, I write songs that never get sung in public. I draw portraits with such attention to detail that it never looks exact enough to me. My mind is filled with many possibilities, but very few plans. I pour myself into every project until I cannot differentiate myself from what I’m doing. Always chasing the elusive perfection; that is an artist.
Last year I decided to take two of my artistic gifts and form a business. I converted a spare room in my home to a studio and started YL Designs Photography and Graphic Arts. To build my portfolio, I did several photo shoots for pennies and spent many hours editing the pictures to make them look the way I wanted. I didn’t make any money, per say, but I didn’t care – I was enjoying just honing my craft and learning new tricks.
These days I’m realizing that an artist cannot run a successful business. An artist is too personally attached to their product to release it before it’s “perfect”. The problem with that is that the artist is always growing and their idea of perfection keeps evolving, leaving the product perpetually unfinished. Professionals know that it’s not about the craft at all; it’s about letting go of the ideals and getting down to business. That is the journey I am currently on. It’s tedious, but necessary. In the end, I will have a successful business where I am profiting at doing what I love enough so that I can do what I love without having to profit. In the meantime, business plans, zoning laws, marketing tools, and financial statements will be my playground. Yay.
Last year I decided to take two of my artistic gifts and form a business. I converted a spare room in my home to a studio and started YL Designs Photography and Graphic Arts. To build my portfolio, I did several photo shoots for pennies and spent many hours editing the pictures to make them look the way I wanted. I didn’t make any money, per say, but I didn’t care – I was enjoying just honing my craft and learning new tricks.
These days I’m realizing that an artist cannot run a successful business. An artist is too personally attached to their product to release it before it’s “perfect”. The problem with that is that the artist is always growing and their idea of perfection keeps evolving, leaving the product perpetually unfinished. Professionals know that it’s not about the craft at all; it’s about letting go of the ideals and getting down to business. That is the journey I am currently on. It’s tedious, but necessary. In the end, I will have a successful business where I am profiting at doing what I love enough so that I can do what I love without having to profit. In the meantime, business plans, zoning laws, marketing tools, and financial statements will be my playground. Yay.
Fun Friday through Sancocho Sunday
It's been a jam packed weekend! Friday I traveled to downtown Manhattan to take some artist headshots for a new show that will be airing soon, American Soul. It's a reality show chronicling several musicians on their way to accomplishing their goals in the industry. My friend is the executive producer and I'm so inspired by watching her do her thing. So many people talk about doing amazing feats, but their journey ends at the talk. This girl is unstoppable. She tried out for American Idol and got shot down in the first round of interviews – not for lack of talent, mind you – so now she's doing her own show. Why should Nigel Lithgow and Simon Cowel have all the fun? I love it.
You know me; I never let inspiration pass me without action. I spent Saturday morning writing out action steps for my YL Designs photography and graphic arts business - and I got a Ning page for Point of Creation so I can link it to the official website once it’s redesigned. I am literally swamped with photography and graphic design projects. Some are my own, but most are those I am being commissioned for – and I get a new request in my inbox almost daily. It’s definitely lighting a fire under my butt to get more organized so that nothing (namely my family and household) falls through the cracks. Pierre and I have made a concerted effort to put our family first. We take weekly date nights and make Saturdays our family day. This Saturday we pulled out the double stroller and spent the early evening at the park. With the summer coming, our weekends will be filled with family activities. As much as I love it, I never want work to take first place.
On Sunday marked 2 weeks of 100% raw…and that was the end of that. After church, Pierre decided he wanted to go visit my dad in Long Island. I prepared and bought a huge delicious salad to bring with me so I would have something to eat in a Spanish household. When we got there, however, we were informed that their friends found out we were coming over and decided to make a sancocho for us. Sancocho is a stew made with root vegetables, a Puerto Rican staple. Their friends are in their 70s and sancocho takes several hours to make. Could I have turned it down? Definitely – and that is why I didn’t. My decision to eat it wasn’t a matter of giving into temptation (if it was, I would not have eaten it); it was a matter of enjoying a meal made with love. I savored every bite and felt great afterwards – no condemnation. Why? I never set myself up by saying I would be 100% raw forever. I never said I would never eat such and such again, so I was free to partake of someone’s act of kindness without going back on my own words. Did it make me want to go back to eating cooked foods? Nope. I’m back to 100% raw until the next “special occasion” strikes.
That was my weekend in a nutshell:)
You know me; I never let inspiration pass me without action. I spent Saturday morning writing out action steps for my YL Designs photography and graphic arts business - and I got a Ning page for Point of Creation so I can link it to the official website once it’s redesigned. I am literally swamped with photography and graphic design projects. Some are my own, but most are those I am being commissioned for – and I get a new request in my inbox almost daily. It’s definitely lighting a fire under my butt to get more organized so that nothing (namely my family and household) falls through the cracks. Pierre and I have made a concerted effort to put our family first. We take weekly date nights and make Saturdays our family day. This Saturday we pulled out the double stroller and spent the early evening at the park. With the summer coming, our weekends will be filled with family activities. As much as I love it, I never want work to take first place.
On Sunday marked 2 weeks of 100% raw…and that was the end of that. After church, Pierre decided he wanted to go visit my dad in Long Island. I prepared and bought a huge delicious salad to bring with me so I would have something to eat in a Spanish household. When we got there, however, we were informed that their friends found out we were coming over and decided to make a sancocho for us. Sancocho is a stew made with root vegetables, a Puerto Rican staple. Their friends are in their 70s and sancocho takes several hours to make. Could I have turned it down? Definitely – and that is why I didn’t. My decision to eat it wasn’t a matter of giving into temptation (if it was, I would not have eaten it); it was a matter of enjoying a meal made with love. I savored every bite and felt great afterwards – no condemnation. Why? I never set myself up by saying I would be 100% raw forever. I never said I would never eat such and such again, so I was free to partake of someone’s act of kindness without going back on my own words. Did it make me want to go back to eating cooked foods? Nope. I’m back to 100% raw until the next “special occasion” strikes.
That was my weekend in a nutshell:)
Friday, March 6
Too Through Thursday
It's Friday morning as I write this. I didn't "feel" like writing yesterday. That's just the kind of day it was. I didn't "feel" like doing much of anything. I especially didn't "feel" like eating raw. That's when I knew I was on to something.
Whenever you are making positive changes in your life that will undoubtedly bring you further along in your divine destiny, you will hit a wall. I'm not talking about the regular obstacles that life throws in your way. I'm talking about that wall that seems to spring up out of nowhere when you are happily skipping through the field of change. It's a wall you didn't see coming, but will stop you almost every time if you didn't expect it.
That wall only pops up when you're on the verge of breakthrough. It's a wall that brings you to the end of yourself, and reminds you how seemingly "good" status quo was. The wall speaks, Who needs this change? It's not worth the effort. No one else is holding themselves to this standard and they're fine. You don't have to be so extreme. Just relax. When you hear this voice and "feel" like stepping back, that's the time to kick it into gear!
I'm too through with excuses, wilted dreams and half eaten endeavors. I'm too through with thinking, wishing and hoping. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest at every moment. Just DO it! I will. I am.
Whenever you are making positive changes in your life that will undoubtedly bring you further along in your divine destiny, you will hit a wall. I'm not talking about the regular obstacles that life throws in your way. I'm talking about that wall that seems to spring up out of nowhere when you are happily skipping through the field of change. It's a wall you didn't see coming, but will stop you almost every time if you didn't expect it.
That wall only pops up when you're on the verge of breakthrough. It's a wall that brings you to the end of yourself, and reminds you how seemingly "good" status quo was. The wall speaks, Who needs this change? It's not worth the effort. No one else is holding themselves to this standard and they're fine. You don't have to be so extreme. Just relax. When you hear this voice and "feel" like stepping back, that's the time to kick it into gear!
I'm too through with excuses, wilted dreams and half eaten endeavors. I'm too through with thinking, wishing and hoping. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest at every moment. Just DO it! I will. I am.
Wednesday, March 4
WAKE UP Wednesday
Today seemed to go by so sloooowly, like I didn't get anything done. Yet it was the most productive day I've had in ages.
I woke up and got on the prayer call, read the book of Joel, did a load of laundry, made some dehydrated chips and zucchini hummus and worked out with Billy Blanks for 40 minutes - all in between the usual toddler/newborn duties. By the time I put Joshua in bed, I was so physically and mentally tired that I decided I was going to leave the house in it's chaotic state until the morning (a decision I have made one too many times).
Then I got the email.
As you know, I signed up for rawdiva's 30-day decluttering program. So far it has just been one pre-recorded webinar and a bunch of "inspirational" emails. Well today's email got PRACTICAL :) You know that surge of energy you get when someone calls and says something like, "I'm in the neighborhood, I'll stop by!"? You spring into action and tidy up as fast as you can, right? Well, they've found a way to give you that same surge even when no one is about to ring your doorbell. It's called the 15 Minute Blitz. You get a little timer (today I used my oven timer) and set it for 15 minutes. Then you race against the clock to get as much done as you can. You are free to reset the clock for as many 15 minute intervals as you want, but you only HAVE to do one.
I read that email and decided to try it. I went downstairs to that pile of dishes, set my timer, and worked as fast as I could. Juliette was kicking her legs and cooing - it felt like she was cheering me on! I had such a blast that I reset that timer for another 15 minutes, finished the whole kitchen and the entire first floor. By then I had so much energy I went upstairs and totally cleaned my room for the first time since Juliette took it over, and finished the night off with a nice long shower (even shaved my legs!).
Yes, ladies and gents. This has been WAKE UP Wednesday indeed. I have woken up to a new way of living. It's productive, powerful and procrastination-free!
I woke up and got on the prayer call, read the book of Joel, did a load of laundry, made some dehydrated chips and zucchini hummus and worked out with Billy Blanks for 40 minutes - all in between the usual toddler/newborn duties. By the time I put Joshua in bed, I was so physically and mentally tired that I decided I was going to leave the house in it's chaotic state until the morning (a decision I have made one too many times).
Then I got the email.
As you know, I signed up for rawdiva's 30-day decluttering program. So far it has just been one pre-recorded webinar and a bunch of "inspirational" emails. Well today's email got PRACTICAL :) You know that surge of energy you get when someone calls and says something like, "I'm in the neighborhood, I'll stop by!"? You spring into action and tidy up as fast as you can, right? Well, they've found a way to give you that same surge even when no one is about to ring your doorbell. It's called the 15 Minute Blitz. You get a little timer (today I used my oven timer) and set it for 15 minutes. Then you race against the clock to get as much done as you can. You are free to reset the clock for as many 15 minute intervals as you want, but you only HAVE to do one.
I read that email and decided to try it. I went downstairs to that pile of dishes, set my timer, and worked as fast as I could. Juliette was kicking her legs and cooing - it felt like she was cheering me on! I had such a blast that I reset that timer for another 15 minutes, finished the whole kitchen and the entire first floor. By then I had so much energy I went upstairs and totally cleaned my room for the first time since Juliette took it over, and finished the night off with a nice long shower (even shaved my legs!).
Yes, ladies and gents. This has been WAKE UP Wednesday indeed. I have woken up to a new way of living. It's productive, powerful and procrastination-free!
Tuesday, March 3
Tahini Tuesday
So this morning I woke up and the FIRST thing on my mind was the internet...gotta check my email, gotta see what the latest is on facebook, gotta read the newest blogs on rawmom, gotta gotta gotta! It scared me because those things should not be the first thing I think of in the morning. I should wake up with praise on my lips and thanksgiving in my heart for another wonderful day of life. I should wake up seeking direction from the One that knows what the day is supposed to be. I should not have any idols in my life.
With that, I decided I wasn't going to turn on the computer at all during the day. I lasted until a quarter to 1pm. Baby steps. Haha. When I did get on the computer, though, I made sure to check out the bible reading assignments for this month (Ruth, 1-2 Samuel, Joel, Matthew and Romans). I'll knock one of those books out tonight before going to bed.
In diet news, I was completely craving everything today. I had a little roasted garlic hummus to try and satisfy my week long zucchini hummus craving (which it didn't), but aside from that I'm still 100% raw. I ended up having some nuts and I made a salad dressing with tahini that satisfied my craving (finally!)...then Pierre came home with the zucchinis I'd been asking for. I'll have to make the hummus now anyway because I don't want the zucchinis to go to waste...but I'm so over it.
I have lost 9 lbs to date and my skin is glowiingggg. I've been watching season 7 of The Biggest Loser on Hulu and it's so inspiring. These people really push themselves way beyond their comfort zones. I want to sweat like that! Maybe tomorrow. lol.
PS: Juliette rolled over today from her belly to her back, twice. Cutest thing. She'll be 2 months old tomorrow.
With that, I decided I wasn't going to turn on the computer at all during the day. I lasted until a quarter to 1pm. Baby steps. Haha. When I did get on the computer, though, I made sure to check out the bible reading assignments for this month (Ruth, 1-2 Samuel, Joel, Matthew and Romans). I'll knock one of those books out tonight before going to bed.
In diet news, I was completely craving everything today. I had a little roasted garlic hummus to try and satisfy my week long zucchini hummus craving (which it didn't), but aside from that I'm still 100% raw. I ended up having some nuts and I made a salad dressing with tahini that satisfied my craving (finally!)...then Pierre came home with the zucchinis I'd been asking for. I'll have to make the hummus now anyway because I don't want the zucchinis to go to waste...but I'm so over it.
I have lost 9 lbs to date and my skin is glowiingggg. I've been watching season 7 of The Biggest Loser on Hulu and it's so inspiring. These people really push themselves way beyond their comfort zones. I want to sweat like that! Maybe tomorrow. lol.
PS: Juliette rolled over today from her belly to her back, twice. Cutest thing. She'll be 2 months old tomorrow.
Monday, March 2
Marvelous Monday
I love March. My birthday is coming up on the 24th and I'm going to ask Pierre to take me to Pure Food and Wine, a gourmet raw food restaurant in Manhattan. The weekend after I'm hosting a slumber party at my house for the ladies at my church. That should be fun!
In diet news, I woke up this morning with chunks of mango in my poop. Grose - I know - but it had to be written because I ate that mango at 8pm and didn't go to bed until after midnight. That proves for me that digestion seriously slows down after dark. Imagine what all the heavy stuff I used to eat, way later than 8pm, was doing to my body. Ick.
Today was the first day after my weeklong raw food detox. I had a banana, two green smoothies, a huge salad and a mango. The only difference is that I added a tablespoon of EVOO to my salad because I figured I needed some fat. I'm really enjoying eating this way...now if I could only get my butt to exercise I'd be set!
In other news, Satoya showed interest in the Deeper Life today - a discipleship program going on at my church. I honestly haven't been doing it, but I told her if she wanted to join I would step up my game (since I'd be her mentor in the program). She wants to do it, so step it up I will. It's basically bible reading, prayer, fasting, exercise, acts of kindness, evangelism, increasing your vocab and keeping track of your giving. The hard part for me is remembering everything I did in order to hand in my report at the end of the month - but I can do a better job of tracking.
As far as my decluttering month, I haven't gotten any real assignments yet. I'll let you know as soon as I do and things get clutter-free around here!
In diet news, I woke up this morning with chunks of mango in my poop. Grose - I know - but it had to be written because I ate that mango at 8pm and didn't go to bed until after midnight. That proves for me that digestion seriously slows down after dark. Imagine what all the heavy stuff I used to eat, way later than 8pm, was doing to my body. Ick.
Today was the first day after my weeklong raw food detox. I had a banana, two green smoothies, a huge salad and a mango. The only difference is that I added a tablespoon of EVOO to my salad because I figured I needed some fat. I'm really enjoying eating this way...now if I could only get my butt to exercise I'd be set!
In other news, Satoya showed interest in the Deeper Life today - a discipleship program going on at my church. I honestly haven't been doing it, but I told her if she wanted to join I would step up my game (since I'd be her mentor in the program). She wants to do it, so step it up I will. It's basically bible reading, prayer, fasting, exercise, acts of kindness, evangelism, increasing your vocab and keeping track of your giving. The hard part for me is remembering everything I did in order to hand in my report at the end of the month - but I can do a better job of tracking.
As far as my decluttering month, I haven't gotten any real assignments yet. I'll let you know as soon as I do and things get clutter-free around here!
Sunday, March 1
Sunday: FINAL DAY of my raw food detox
WOW! I did it!! 7 days of nothing but raw fruits and vegetables. That was an amazing experience and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone for so many reasons:
1. You WILL lose weight, and it just may be the kick start you need to keep losing weight (if you need to).
2. You WILL rediscover how good food is in it's natural state without all the oils, vinegars, spices, sauces, baking, frying, etc, etc, that we feel we NEED in order to enjoy what we're eating.
3. You WILL get an exercise in discipline and denying your flesh - and who can't use that?
4. You WILL find better things to do with your time than obsess about food.
5. You WILL have fun, if you choose to :)
6. You WILL get better sleep, which you need.
There are 52 weeks in a single year. Multiply that over a lifetime and that's a lot of "7-day" periods. Why not use just ONE of those 7-day periods and do something that could really benefit you? You have the rest of your life to eat whatever you want whenever you want...and hopefully after that ONE 7-day period, you'll be equipped to make better choices that will not only have you enjoying your food, but enjoying your TOTAL life experience.
Today was my last day of this detox and it was the first day I was out of the house (church). It was a bit difficult for me because I didn't prepare. We had a meeting after church for which I knew there was going to be conventional fruits and veggies, so I didn't bring anything from home. I've been eating organic all week but didn't think I'd notice the difference. I was wrong - it was grose. So I suggest that when you decide to do the 7-day detox, make sure you bring lots of cut organic veggies and fruits from home wherever you are going. I had to stop at Jamba Juice at one point and the only thing I felt comfortable having was the double shot of wheatgrass...which made me SUPER nauseous. I came home and went straight to sleep, woke up around 8pm and had a mango (yes, that is really late to be eating but I hardly ate today). I feel way better now. Lesson learned.
Tomorrow I start my 30 days towards a clutter-free home! I will continue eating the way I ate this week, except I will allow myself to add fats (avocados, nuts, olive oil) and spices sparingly. I'll still lay off the cooked foods for another week and see how it goes. I feel awesome!!
If you noticed, I stopped tagging people yesterday. It takes too long (haha) and I don't want to fill up your notifications with my stuff. Just know that I will be writing every day, so feel free to stop in and check up on how I'm doing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the comments that you all leave. Thank you! You've made this 7-day experience really enjoyable for me!
xoxo
(To do your own 7-day detox, please visit www.therawdivas.com)
1. You WILL lose weight, and it just may be the kick start you need to keep losing weight (if you need to).
2. You WILL rediscover how good food is in it's natural state without all the oils, vinegars, spices, sauces, baking, frying, etc, etc, that we feel we NEED in order to enjoy what we're eating.
3. You WILL get an exercise in discipline and denying your flesh - and who can't use that?
4. You WILL find better things to do with your time than obsess about food.
5. You WILL have fun, if you choose to :)
6. You WILL get better sleep, which you need.
There are 52 weeks in a single year. Multiply that over a lifetime and that's a lot of "7-day" periods. Why not use just ONE of those 7-day periods and do something that could really benefit you? You have the rest of your life to eat whatever you want whenever you want...and hopefully after that ONE 7-day period, you'll be equipped to make better choices that will not only have you enjoying your food, but enjoying your TOTAL life experience.
Today was my last day of this detox and it was the first day I was out of the house (church). It was a bit difficult for me because I didn't prepare. We had a meeting after church for which I knew there was going to be conventional fruits and veggies, so I didn't bring anything from home. I've been eating organic all week but didn't think I'd notice the difference. I was wrong - it was grose. So I suggest that when you decide to do the 7-day detox, make sure you bring lots of cut organic veggies and fruits from home wherever you are going. I had to stop at Jamba Juice at one point and the only thing I felt comfortable having was the double shot of wheatgrass...which made me SUPER nauseous. I came home and went straight to sleep, woke up around 8pm and had a mango (yes, that is really late to be eating but I hardly ate today). I feel way better now. Lesson learned.
Tomorrow I start my 30 days towards a clutter-free home! I will continue eating the way I ate this week, except I will allow myself to add fats (avocados, nuts, olive oil) and spices sparingly. I'll still lay off the cooked foods for another week and see how it goes. I feel awesome!!
If you noticed, I stopped tagging people yesterday. It takes too long (haha) and I don't want to fill up your notifications with my stuff. Just know that I will be writing every day, so feel free to stop in and check up on how I'm doing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the comments that you all leave. Thank you! You've made this 7-day experience really enjoyable for me!
xoxo
(To do your own 7-day detox, please visit www.therawdivas.com)
Saturday, February 28
Saturday: Day #6 of my raw food detox
Yestday was different. I didn't feel like eating. I only had 2 green smoothies and some celery sticks. Then in the late afternoon I saw that my menstrual cycle has returned for the first time after labor. Isn't that a joy? lol. It wasn't accompanied by any of the normal ailments that I was used to having on my first day, and I know it's because of the detox. However, it does explain the craving for ooey gooey chocolate the other day! Why does that happen??
So today I was upstairs washing a baby bottle when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Is that me? I looked so thin to myself. I felt so lean and sexy! I quickly began passionately ripping off my clothes as I ran down the stairs towards Pierre's office...to weigh myself! lol. 182.0 lbs. I've lost a little over 7lbs in 5 days. It feels nice, but I'm not overly excited about that since this is only a one week thing - or is it?
I'm definitely getting tired of just the light salads, fruits and smoothies I've been eating this week...but I think with a little added fats and grains, I could keep this up. The two foods I definitely want to eliminate from my diet are animal products and gluten. I know that encompases a lot, but I find those to be the most harmful and addicting to the body. I want to leave those foods for occasional rare moments, instead of the everyday staple they have been in my diet. Notice I did NOT say I will never eat those foods again. I am no longer that naive.
My journey continues
So today I was upstairs washing a baby bottle when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Is that me? I looked so thin to myself. I felt so lean and sexy! I quickly began passionately ripping off my clothes as I ran down the stairs towards Pierre's office...to weigh myself! lol. 182.0 lbs. I've lost a little over 7lbs in 5 days. It feels nice, but I'm not overly excited about that since this is only a one week thing - or is it?
I'm definitely getting tired of just the light salads, fruits and smoothies I've been eating this week...but I think with a little added fats and grains, I could keep this up. The two foods I definitely want to eliminate from my diet are animal products and gluten. I know that encompases a lot, but I find those to be the most harmful and addicting to the body. I want to leave those foods for occasional rare moments, instead of the everyday staple they have been in my diet. Notice I did NOT say I will never eat those foods again. I am no longer that naive.
My journey continues
Friday, February 27
Friday: Day #5 of my raw food detox
It's definitely early to be reporting about today's events, but there are some things I needed to write down and I didn't want to forget. Also, the day is pretty jam packed and I didn't want to NOT write. I will write more about how the rest of today goes tomorrow.
Last night I didn't go to be until around midnight again, even though Pierre took Juliette around 10:30 for the rest of the night. I think I got a little overconfident that I didn't need as much sleep because I was sleeping deeper (quality over quantity type of thing). Not true. When your body is detoxing, you need MORE sleep. Just because it is taking a break from difficult digestion doesn't mean it's taking a break completely. It's going in there and meticulously dealing with all the little issues we don't even see or feel, issues that would cause serious problems down the road if left undealt with. We really take our youth for granted. At this point we can pretty much do anything to our bodies and not feel a thing except for the occasional ache/pain/runny nose. Yet we see the serious health issues that plague the elderly of our nation. Those things didn't just happen over night, but after a lifetime of neglect. Anyway, I'm getting preachy. lol back to my day.
I ended up having to wake up around 4:30am to feed Juliette and I was like a zombie. I lost my balance and hit the wall (lol) on my way to the bathroom. I was in bed until after 10am this morning and definitely feeling that my body is working hard. The skin on my face feels sooo soft and the dark circles under my eyes have gotten noticably lighter to me. I've lost a few pounds, too. I haven't done any formal exercise this week other than those 15 minutes of Taebo the other day, although I've been doing lots of housework and carrying Joshua around. At 1pm, I'm going to listen to a live fitness teleseminar with Yuri Elkaim - leading fitness guru blah blah blah:) You can join in at this link . If you miss it, you can still go to that link and listen to it whenever you want (like the daylight diet teleseminar).
I was actually craving some ooey gooey chocolately stuff last night before going to bed. Don't worry, I didn't cave - but it was the first craving I had felt the entire week. No cravings this morning. I made a nice big green smoothie with apple, banana, pineapple, pear, kale and spinach. Why do I always use kale in my green smoothies? Because I don't like the way it tastes and I can't taste it in the smoothie :) Kale is wonderful for you. You can click here to read about all the benefits of this leafy green.
Why do I always end up writing more when I think I have nothing to write? lol
PS: I just realized the teleseminar is being webcast live as well. Yay! No phone necesary :)
Last night I didn't go to be until around midnight again, even though Pierre took Juliette around 10:30 for the rest of the night. I think I got a little overconfident that I didn't need as much sleep because I was sleeping deeper (quality over quantity type of thing). Not true. When your body is detoxing, you need MORE sleep. Just because it is taking a break from difficult digestion doesn't mean it's taking a break completely. It's going in there and meticulously dealing with all the little issues we don't even see or feel, issues that would cause serious problems down the road if left undealt with. We really take our youth for granted. At this point we can pretty much do anything to our bodies and not feel a thing except for the occasional ache/pain/runny nose. Yet we see the serious health issues that plague the elderly of our nation. Those things didn't just happen over night, but after a lifetime of neglect. Anyway, I'm getting preachy. lol back to my day.
I ended up having to wake up around 4:30am to feed Juliette and I was like a zombie. I lost my balance and hit the wall (lol) on my way to the bathroom. I was in bed until after 10am this morning and definitely feeling that my body is working hard. The skin on my face feels sooo soft and the dark circles under my eyes have gotten noticably lighter to me. I've lost a few pounds, too. I haven't done any formal exercise this week other than those 15 minutes of Taebo the other day, although I've been doing lots of housework and carrying Joshua around. At 1pm, I'm going to listen to a live fitness teleseminar with Yuri Elkaim - leading fitness guru blah blah blah:) You can join in at this link . If you miss it, you can still go to that link and listen to it whenever you want (like the daylight diet teleseminar).
I was actually craving some ooey gooey chocolately stuff last night before going to bed. Don't worry, I didn't cave - but it was the first craving I had felt the entire week. No cravings this morning. I made a nice big green smoothie with apple, banana, pineapple, pear, kale and spinach. Why do I always use kale in my green smoothies? Because I don't like the way it tastes and I can't taste it in the smoothie :) Kale is wonderful for you. You can click here to read about all the benefits of this leafy green.
Why do I always end up writing more when I think I have nothing to write? lol
PS: I just realized the teleseminar is being webcast live as well. Yay! No phone necesary :)
Thursday, February 26
Thursday: Day #4 of my raw food detox
I'm supposed to be showering right now. Pierre came home and is watching the kiddos for me so I can do that. Yes, even showers have to be scheduled these days. I'm upstairs on my bed on the laptop. How naughty. lol.
Anyway, today was good. I'm starting to feel light as a feather - although the scale quickly reminds me I am no feather, my friend. I experienced insatiable hunger today between 3-5pm, so I just kept eating - a HUGE salad, a mango, a green smoothie. Haha, writing that out it doesn't seem like I ate a lot but it felt like a lot compared to the past few days. Joshua, Pierre and I enjoyed some banana/kale smoothies today. Joshua is actually starting to ask for salad :) I feel my body getting into a nice rhythm and I'm starting to think about what I want my lifestyle to be like beyond this week. Good stuff.
In other news, I signed up for the Clutter Free Diva Program at rawdivas.com. I am super excited about that. I start next Monday. Here is the fabulous testimony about that. The program costs $198 (I missed the month of January when they were running a 1/2 price sale). It's a 30-day program and looks awesome, but that price was more than I wanted to pay for cyber support. So yesterday I emailed Tera (the main chic at Raw Divas), told her I was really interested in the declutter program and that I am a photographer/graphics designer. I asked if I could make an exchange for goods/services. She agreed and signed me up right away! Yeah boyeeeee. That experience totally changed the way I view business. There should always be an exchange, but it doesn't always have to be money.
PS: Has anyone listened to Paul Nison's Daylight Diet interview I mentioned in yesterday's blog? It's eye-opening. Just the one small change of not eating when it's dark out (or 6pm, whichever comes first) will really make a difference in your health. Try it! :)
Anyway, today was good. I'm starting to feel light as a feather - although the scale quickly reminds me I am no feather, my friend. I experienced insatiable hunger today between 3-5pm, so I just kept eating - a HUGE salad, a mango, a green smoothie. Haha, writing that out it doesn't seem like I ate a lot but it felt like a lot compared to the past few days. Joshua, Pierre and I enjoyed some banana/kale smoothies today. Joshua is actually starting to ask for salad :) I feel my body getting into a nice rhythm and I'm starting to think about what I want my lifestyle to be like beyond this week. Good stuff.
In other news, I signed up for the Clutter Free Diva Program at rawdivas.com. I am super excited about that. I start next Monday. Here is the fabulous testimony about that. The program costs $198 (I missed the month of January when they were running a 1/2 price sale). It's a 30-day program and looks awesome, but that price was more than I wanted to pay for cyber support. So yesterday I emailed Tera (the main chic at Raw Divas), told her I was really interested in the declutter program and that I am a photographer/graphics designer. I asked if I could make an exchange for goods/services. She agreed and signed me up right away! Yeah boyeeeee. That experience totally changed the way I view business. There should always be an exchange, but it doesn't always have to be money.
PS: Has anyone listened to Paul Nison's Daylight Diet interview I mentioned in yesterday's blog? It's eye-opening. Just the one small change of not eating when it's dark out (or 6pm, whichever comes first) will really make a difference in your health. Try it! :)
Wednesday, February 25
Wednesday: Day #3 of my raw food detox
Whew. I heard day 3 is the toughest day. It is tough - but not in the way that I thought. I'm not craving cooked foods, fats or grains. I'm not yearning for chocolate or wishing for a glass of OJ. The food part of it is just fine, actually - except for the feeling that I'm losing my sense of smell/taste. I don't think that's supposed to happen. It must be this cold my body was fighting off making its last tada before exiting. I'll ask Paul Nison about it.
The tough part is totally emotional.
This morning I woke up to find my in-laws had slept over last night. Apparently Joshua started throwing up in the middle of the night and Pierre tried to wake me, but couldn't, so he called them and they came rushing over. The funny thing is that I had listened to Paul Nison's interview about his new book, The Daylight Diet, which basically says that if you don't eat after dark you will automatically lose weight and have much deeper sleep. He wasn't kidding! Due to newborn duties, I didn't get to sleep until after midnight - but I didn't eat after 6pm. The last thing I remember is my head hitting the pillow. I missed the entire hussle and bussle of Joshua screaming because he had thrown up, Pierre running around cleaning everything, Joshua then pooping so bad that he had to be thrown in the tub, Pierre calling his mom, and them coming over to perform some old skool remedies that had him running around just fine by the time I awoke. THAT'S deep sleep. I don't think I like it. Pierre said he even shook me.
I was very embarrased to have my in-laws thinking I chose to sleep in lieu of caring for my son who wasn't feeling well. How could I explain that I really didn't hear a thing? Not to mention the fact that when I did see Joshua in the morning and tried to give him a hug, he yelled, "NOOOOOOO" (in usual toddler fashion), wriggled out of my arms and went running to his grandma. On top of that, my home was not ready for middle of the night surprise guests (is it ever?) so not only did I come off looking like an unfit mother, I was a sloppy one, too. She took it upon herself to do some laundry I had in the basement because, and I quote, "if you are ever sick upstairs and someone comes over and sees this they will say, 'this woman is a slob'...that's what they'd say." Thank you. Although I was extremely grateful they had come over and done everything they did, I was a bit of an emotional wreck over the whole thing - detox or no detox - teetering between conviction and condemnation.
Once they left the day should've gone back to normal, but it didn't. This is the detox part. Everything just felt really off. I don't know how to explain it. I just prayed in my heavenly language and put on some praise/worship music. That helped. Things feel a bit more normal now.
On a lighter note (yay!), I made the most fabulous kale/pineapple green smoothie today. It was delicious, as opposed to the brown smoothie I ended up making yesterday without a recipe. lol. Pierre and Joshua loved it! The saga continues.
The tough part is totally emotional.
This morning I woke up to find my in-laws had slept over last night. Apparently Joshua started throwing up in the middle of the night and Pierre tried to wake me, but couldn't, so he called them and they came rushing over. The funny thing is that I had listened to Paul Nison's interview about his new book, The Daylight Diet, which basically says that if you don't eat after dark you will automatically lose weight and have much deeper sleep. He wasn't kidding! Due to newborn duties, I didn't get to sleep until after midnight - but I didn't eat after 6pm. The last thing I remember is my head hitting the pillow. I missed the entire hussle and bussle of Joshua screaming because he had thrown up, Pierre running around cleaning everything, Joshua then pooping so bad that he had to be thrown in the tub, Pierre calling his mom, and them coming over to perform some old skool remedies that had him running around just fine by the time I awoke. THAT'S deep sleep. I don't think I like it. Pierre said he even shook me.
I was very embarrased to have my in-laws thinking I chose to sleep in lieu of caring for my son who wasn't feeling well. How could I explain that I really didn't hear a thing? Not to mention the fact that when I did see Joshua in the morning and tried to give him a hug, he yelled, "NOOOOOOO" (in usual toddler fashion), wriggled out of my arms and went running to his grandma. On top of that, my home was not ready for middle of the night surprise guests (is it ever?) so not only did I come off looking like an unfit mother, I was a sloppy one, too. She took it upon herself to do some laundry I had in the basement because, and I quote, "if you are ever sick upstairs and someone comes over and sees this they will say, 'this woman is a slob'...that's what they'd say." Thank you. Although I was extremely grateful they had come over and done everything they did, I was a bit of an emotional wreck over the whole thing - detox or no detox - teetering between conviction and condemnation.
Once they left the day should've gone back to normal, but it didn't. This is the detox part. Everything just felt really off. I don't know how to explain it. I just prayed in my heavenly language and put on some praise/worship music. That helped. Things feel a bit more normal now.
On a lighter note (yay!), I made the most fabulous kale/pineapple green smoothie today. It was delicious, as opposed to the brown smoothie I ended up making yesterday without a recipe. lol. Pierre and Joshua loved it! The saga continues.
Tuesday, February 24
Tuesday: Day #2 of my detox
WHOAAA...this is awesome. I'm told that day 3 is the "make it or break it" day - we'll see about that. Day 2 is FAB-U-LOUS!! I have a TON of energy. In today's email I was told that adding some exercise to my week will double and triple my results - sounds good to me! So I put on my sports bra, dusted off my sneakers and decided to do 15 minutes of Taebo. I set my oven timer and before I knew it, BEEP BEEP BEEP! I had hardly broken a sweat...but definitely felt my muscles working so decided I shouldn't over exert myself on the first day. Normally 15 minutes of Taebo after such a long exercise hiatus would've done me in and exhausted me for the rest of the day. What a great feeling to do a little exercise and feel MORE energy.
In other news, I've prayed more today than I have in a long while. I'm excited to cuddle up with a good book this evening after Joshua is in bed (namely, the book of Isaiah). I'm starting to think about all the ways I can declutter and really clean my home. Love it.
I also realized something else. When I went raw for 35 days, I was making a ton of raw gourmet recipes (I'm actually craving the raw zucchini hummus...yum!!). I did not eat a lot of veggies as is, like I'm doing now. Even though everything I was eating was raw, it was all spiced up, dehydrated, smothered and/or reconstituted to taste like something else. Did I lose weight? Yup! Did I get my poor eating habits under control? Nope . If anything, they were made worse because the recipes I was making took so long to prepare, my life pretty much revolved around food. With this fast, I'm eating very simply, and rediscovering how good things taste in their natural state.
Awesome.
I also signed up for a 90 day program with the raw divas. They're currently on day #8 so I read all the blogs from the past week and am caught up. The first month is focused on not eating any gluten or dairy, which I'm not eating this week anyway. Good stuff.
AND I reconnected with my friend, Paul Nison, who is an awesome raw food teacher and lover of Yeshua. www.paulnison.com
Overall great day :)
In other news, I've prayed more today than I have in a long while. I'm excited to cuddle up with a good book this evening after Joshua is in bed (namely, the book of Isaiah). I'm starting to think about all the ways I can declutter and really clean my home. Love it.
I also realized something else. When I went raw for 35 days, I was making a ton of raw gourmet recipes (I'm actually craving the raw zucchini hummus...yum!!). I did not eat a lot of veggies as is, like I'm doing now. Even though everything I was eating was raw, it was all spiced up, dehydrated, smothered and/or reconstituted to taste like something else. Did I lose weight? Yup! Did I get my poor eating habits under control? Nope . If anything, they were made worse because the recipes I was making took so long to prepare, my life pretty much revolved around food. With this fast, I'm eating very simply, and rediscovering how good things taste in their natural state.
Awesome.
I also signed up for a 90 day program with the raw divas. They're currently on day #8 so I read all the blogs from the past week and am caught up. The first month is focused on not eating any gluten or dairy, which I'm not eating this week anyway. Good stuff.
AND I reconnected with my friend, Paul Nison, who is an awesome raw food teacher and lover of Yeshua. www.paulnison.com
Overall great day :)
Monday, February 23
Monday: Day #1 of the detox
As of 2:30pm today, I have officially been on a water fast for 24 hours. I was supposed to start at 6pm yesterday, but it was dinner time before I realized I was supposed to be fasting so I just skipped it and haven't eaten since. Technically I could eat now, since it's supposed to be a 24 hour fast...but I will wait until the specified 6pm to gorge on some bananas.
The funny thing is that I am not craving any specific foods. I'm craving television. I haven't watched TV in a really long time (don't remember when I stopped but it was sometime last Fall). I've watched certain programs on the internet, but that doesn't count. I'm talking about laying on the couch with the remote in your hand, flipping through the channels at whim, mindlessly listening to the noise of advertisers and laugh tracks (do they even have those anymore?). I'm talking about totally vegging out - no pun intended. That's what I'm craving.
I absolutely use food to entertain myself and avoid being truly present in the moment. Not all the time, but I do it. Without food, my soul craves another thing that would allow me to vacate. Funny how the thought of reading the Word hadn't even crossed my mind until a friend suggested it. I'm starting to understand how I got here.
As of lunch time today I am 189.8 pounds.
The funny thing is that I am not craving any specific foods. I'm craving television. I haven't watched TV in a really long time (don't remember when I stopped but it was sometime last Fall). I've watched certain programs on the internet, but that doesn't count. I'm talking about laying on the couch with the remote in your hand, flipping through the channels at whim, mindlessly listening to the noise of advertisers and laugh tracks (do they even have those anymore?). I'm talking about totally vegging out - no pun intended. That's what I'm craving.
I absolutely use food to entertain myself and avoid being truly present in the moment. Not all the time, but I do it. Without food, my soul craves another thing that would allow me to vacate. Funny how the thought of reading the Word hadn't even crossed my mind until a friend suggested it. I'm starting to understand how I got here.
As of lunch time today I am 189.8 pounds.
Sunday, February 22
Starting a 7 day detox tomorrow
Since I got prego with Juliette until now, I have been eating horrendously and not exercising a lick. Juliette is 7 weeks old today and as she's starting her week of new beginnings, so will I. OK, I didn't actually plan to do this on her 8th week, but it sounds good and Hebrew and all that.
I will be doing a 7 day raw food detox. I've gone raw for 35 days in the past, only to return to eating cooked foods like no body's business - so I'm honestly a bit sceptic that 7 days will make any sort of big difference. However, like my pastor said today, I am not a sceptic - I am a creator. I am choosing to co-create the life that I was designed to have before the foundations of the earth. Yeah boyeeee.
The detox calls for fasting from 6pm tonight until 6pm tomorrow night (the first official day of the detox). The fast is broken in the evening with a monofruit meal. Then I will basically be having lots of water, salads, fruits and sprouts for 7 days. No fats like nuts or avocados which are very common in the raw food diet. This detox focuses on greens, which have basically become extinct around here.
My body is fighting off some germs and viruses right now, so I'm happy to give it a break from all the heavy digesting. I'm looking forward to getting back on track because I know that this food thing affects so many other aspects of life. I realize that my mental clarity and emotional fortitude depend so much on how this earth suit is functioning.
So here we go!
PS: Here are a few things I read today on the detox website that stuck out to me...
1. Honor where you’re at. You will ALWAYS be able to find something you don’t like about yourself. Whether you’ve got dimpled thighs, a bulging stomach, thick arms, or a double chin, you are deliciously sexy and desirable. Haha, that's great.
2. Honor your body and all the hard work it does. Every CELL is carrying on an orchestra of activity in your honor. So celebrate it. Indeed.
3. Digestion and managing emotions require so much energy from the body's resources that it has a hard time doing both simultaneously. This is why when some people are stressed or upset, they lose their appetite. It’s also why others of us, who are more likely to suppress our emotions, will EAT when we are stressed. This suppresses our body’s ability to process and experience our emotions as they’re happening. Whoa.
I will be doing a 7 day raw food detox. I've gone raw for 35 days in the past, only to return to eating cooked foods like no body's business - so I'm honestly a bit sceptic that 7 days will make any sort of big difference. However, like my pastor said today, I am not a sceptic - I am a creator. I am choosing to co-create the life that I was designed to have before the foundations of the earth. Yeah boyeeee.
The detox calls for fasting from 6pm tonight until 6pm tomorrow night (the first official day of the detox). The fast is broken in the evening with a monofruit meal. Then I will basically be having lots of water, salads, fruits and sprouts for 7 days. No fats like nuts or avocados which are very common in the raw food diet. This detox focuses on greens, which have basically become extinct around here.
My body is fighting off some germs and viruses right now, so I'm happy to give it a break from all the heavy digesting. I'm looking forward to getting back on track because I know that this food thing affects so many other aspects of life. I realize that my mental clarity and emotional fortitude depend so much on how this earth suit is functioning.
So here we go!
PS: Here are a few things I read today on the detox website that stuck out to me...
1. Honor where you’re at. You will ALWAYS be able to find something you don’t like about yourself. Whether you’ve got dimpled thighs, a bulging stomach, thick arms, or a double chin, you are deliciously sexy and desirable. Haha, that's great.
2. Honor your body and all the hard work it does. Every CELL is carrying on an orchestra of activity in your honor. So celebrate it. Indeed.
3. Digestion and managing emotions require so much energy from the body's resources that it has a hard time doing both simultaneously. This is why when some people are stressed or upset, they lose their appetite. It’s also why others of us, who are more likely to suppress our emotions, will EAT when we are stressed. This suppresses our body’s ability to process and experience our emotions as they’re happening. Whoa.
Tuesday, February 17
WARNING: do NOT join facebook!
I joined facebook and I'm stuck now. As of February 4th, they signed a new Terms of Service saying that they can do whatever they want with any of your information and photos (including leasing them to 3rd parties) even if you delete your account. In other words, everything you upload to facebook can be used in any which way they want, forever.
Read about it here.
I'm starting a petition and will fight back (you know me!), but I'm just sending this out as a warning. If you are not a member of facebook, do not join now.
Yadi
Read about it here.
I'm starting a petition and will fight back (you know me!), but I'm just sending this out as a warning. If you are not a member of facebook, do not join now.
Yadi
Tuesday, February 10
Uh...
Yesterday I had a dull headache for the majority of the day until it turned into a full blown migrain in the evening. This morning I awoke with the dull ache again. During the prayer call, Gloria said she needed prayer because she has had a headache for two days - so of course I piped in with a "me, too!" Pastor Dan said that it was a spiritual attack to keep us from hearing and writing down what Yahweh was trying to tell us. There ended up being two more people with headaches so he told the four of us to close our eyes and write what we see, no matter how [adjective that would cause us to think we shouldn't write it].
Joshua is asleep in his crib. Juliette is asleep in her moby wrap (which I got yesterday and LOVE)...so this is a good time for me to close my eyes and write.
I see a grey concrete wall, like the Berlin wall or something, and soldiers standing guard with their rifles, marching back and forth. They are wearing dark blue uniforms, hats and long black boots. They are young boys. I see planes flying overhead. Bombs falling. It's a war. I see civilians running for their lives - women with long dresses holding children in their arms. I see abandoned sheep. Literally, sheep, in their pens, abandoned. I see an older man sitting behind his desk, smoking a cigar, watching all the commotion out of his window, sitting back and observing it all. He is the cause of the war.
...and now both childen have awakened. Figures. lol. I'll be back.
Joshua is asleep in his crib. Juliette is asleep in her moby wrap (which I got yesterday and LOVE)...so this is a good time for me to close my eyes and write.
I see a grey concrete wall, like the Berlin wall or something, and soldiers standing guard with their rifles, marching back and forth. They are wearing dark blue uniforms, hats and long black boots. They are young boys. I see planes flying overhead. Bombs falling. It's a war. I see civilians running for their lives - women with long dresses holding children in their arms. I see abandoned sheep. Literally, sheep, in their pens, abandoned. I see an older man sitting behind his desk, smoking a cigar, watching all the commotion out of his window, sitting back and observing it all. He is the cause of the war.
...and now both childen have awakened. Figures. lol. I'll be back.
Thursday, February 5
Sweet sound of construction
Last year in March a tree fell on our home (read post here). This week they started the construction to fix it all - the roof, chimney, front porch, and gutters. Another tree fell in the back yard a few months later, breaking the fence, and they're fixing that as well. Yay! I've never been so happy to hear such loud obnoxious noises and to have half a dozen strangers in my yard all day long. Good stuff. In other news, just when I decide to really advertise myself and get my photography business out there (through my lactation specialist, midwife and others), my computer decides to completely crash. I cannot access any of the photos I have taken (although Pierre assures me they're all still there and I have seen them remotely from one of his systems). I cannot get to the pictures on my camera, nor can I access photoshop...AND all my email access has been suspended most likely because my computer was sending out viruses. Can you imagine the withdrawal I'm going through??! Haha at destruction thou shall laugh. That's hilarious. As soon as everything is up and running again, try and stop me! I'm still taking photos even though I can't get to them. So what. Just do it. In yet other news, Pierre and I had an awesome talk this morning about his ultimate calling and we're both ready to truly seek Yahweh and move forward with what has been confirmed over and over. He realized that everything I've been trying to accomplish with POC, the school, dance, music, etc, can only go so far without him embracing what he's called to do. He's not just there to cheer from the sideline as he thought, he's there to be a major part of it all. If anything, all that I am doing is a small part of what he's supposed to be doing. We're sober and ready to step into divine destiny together. He promised not to let me die spiritually. I promise not to let him slink back ever again. Yahweh is reconstructing our home in more ways than one.
Friday, January 30
25 Random Things About Me
1. All my fingernails must be the same length - even if the rest are perfect I will cut them all for one that is broken or chipped.
2. I started keeping diaries in 7th grade so that I would remember what it was like "to be a kid" and so I could one day show my daughter that I know what she's going through.
3. Before I became a Christian in my first year of college, I was very much into the paranormal and occult because I was raised doing séances with my family regularly.
4. My phone is JUST a phone. No, really. Not a camera or an mp3 player or a planner...just a phone.
5. I'm gifted in all things artistic.
6. I've never owned an animal that didn't need a cage. I've had parakeets and hamsters.
7. I once pulled over on the way home from church to dance in the rain at night behind an abandoned building all by myself. It was a really good church service.
8. I often pick up strangers in my car when it's raining and drive them where they need to go (I know).
9. I have an extreme tender heart for afflicted children and the elderly.
10. I'm beyond grateful that my husband never took rejection as my final answer when we were dating.
11. I used to hate running - until I ran a marathon (26.2 miles). Now I respect it.
12. My favorite all time line from a book was, "Perhaps one did not want to be loved, so much as to be understood", from 1984 by George Orwell...now I realize being loved is way better.
13. I will most likely be the mayor of my town one day.
14. One of my life goals is to own the apartment complex I grew up in, as well as all the homes various members of my family have rented for decades.
15. I've never been anywhere tropical. Will someone take me somewhere warm with a white sandy beach and clear water?? That's not too much to ask, is it?? :)
16. I learn languages fast - and forget them just as quickly.
17. I was once nominated by my group on a mission's trip in Mexico to tell the little old man across the street that his dog (and only companion) got killed by a car while he was out that day. Not cool.
18. I was almost engaged once before I met my husband. Whew, that was a close one!
19. I still swoon over Marc Anthony's voice (not so much when he sings in English...).
20. My true identity of rock hard vegan athlete has temporarily been taken over by this flabby eclair chomper...but I will rise!
21. One day my picture will be on a billboard in Times Square. Not sure for what, but I've seen it.
22. Life experience has made me almost entirely nonjudgmental of people's choices. Never say never.
23. My secret desire is to be a dancer at Alvin Ailey in NYC. It could still happen one day, right? Amuse me.
24. Are these really THE last days? I hope not...too much left to do still.
25. I actually really love my life and everyone in it.
2. I started keeping diaries in 7th grade so that I would remember what it was like "to be a kid" and so I could one day show my daughter that I know what she's going through.
3. Before I became a Christian in my first year of college, I was very much into the paranormal and occult because I was raised doing séances with my family regularly.
4. My phone is JUST a phone. No, really. Not a camera or an mp3 player or a planner...just a phone.
5. I'm gifted in all things artistic.
6. I've never owned an animal that didn't need a cage. I've had parakeets and hamsters.
7. I once pulled over on the way home from church to dance in the rain at night behind an abandoned building all by myself. It was a really good church service.
8. I often pick up strangers in my car when it's raining and drive them where they need to go (I know).
9. I have an extreme tender heart for afflicted children and the elderly.
10. I'm beyond grateful that my husband never took rejection as my final answer when we were dating.
11. I used to hate running - until I ran a marathon (26.2 miles). Now I respect it.
12. My favorite all time line from a book was, "Perhaps one did not want to be loved, so much as to be understood", from 1984 by George Orwell...now I realize being loved is way better.
13. I will most likely be the mayor of my town one day.
14. One of my life goals is to own the apartment complex I grew up in, as well as all the homes various members of my family have rented for decades.
15. I've never been anywhere tropical. Will someone take me somewhere warm with a white sandy beach and clear water?? That's not too much to ask, is it?? :)
16. I learn languages fast - and forget them just as quickly.
17. I was once nominated by my group on a mission's trip in Mexico to tell the little old man across the street that his dog (and only companion) got killed by a car while he was out that day. Not cool.
18. I was almost engaged once before I met my husband. Whew, that was a close one!
19. I still swoon over Marc Anthony's voice (not so much when he sings in English...).
20. My true identity of rock hard vegan athlete has temporarily been taken over by this flabby eclair chomper...but I will rise!
21. One day my picture will be on a billboard in Times Square. Not sure for what, but I've seen it.
22. Life experience has made me almost entirely nonjudgmental of people's choices. Never say never.
23. My secret desire is to be a dancer at Alvin Ailey in NYC. It could still happen one day, right? Amuse me.
24. Are these really THE last days? I hope not...too much left to do still.
25. I actually really love my life and everyone in it.
Monday, January 19
Tales of a Breastfeeder
Juliette is 15 days old today. It's amazing to me how fast the time is going compared to when Joshua was born. The first four weeks of his life seemed to crawl by like four years. Every minute of every day was accounted for on a chart: time and duration of each feeding, separated into right and left breast details, followed by whether or not he was satisfied at the end of the feeding, and complete with number of wet/poopy diapers per day. Yes, I am serious. It was insane, I was stressed and crying, he was hungry and bawling. I blamed it all on the fact that he was tongue tied and incapable of latching on correctly. The real culprit was a book that was recommended to me by a well meaning friend ("Babywise"). This book had me attempting to put a newborn on a schedule. What it actually did was diminish my milk supply and make me into the Nazi mom from hell.
Which brings me to Juliette. What a difference! Before even figuring out that Babywise was the reason for my season, I decided I was going to chill out this time. Her latch is perfect - she's a natural. The sad thing is that there was so much bad information I picked up from that book about breastfeeding that even without an attempted schedule, my milk supply is still low. I have to supplement with formula and pump. The good news is I found an amazing lactation specialist who is not overly emotional about breastfeeding - she's very practical and helps me sans the guilt trip.
Here's the kicker. From the 9 months leading up to Joshua's birth all the way through to Juliette's 2 week mark, despite all the craziness I've gone through trying to breastfeed, it never occured to me to find what scripture had to say about it. Oh, I used, "My Yah shall supply all your need according to His riches in Glory by Moshiac Yeshua". I would "confess" a good milk supply, easy breastfeeding and even use visualizations. Yet I never actually tried to find the scriptural promise because honestly, I didn't think the bible had anything to say about the matter. This morning at 4am I had an epiphany and decided to look it up. Not only does the bible have tons to say about breastfeeding, I found out that just like barreness, "dry breasts" are a curse. What?! Before reading that, I was content with just "trying" to breastfeed. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Now that I know that not being able to breastfeed is a curse, I'm mad. The devil is a liar!
Anywho, here is my favorite scripture that I found, personalized for us: Isaiah 66:11-13.
"Juliette feeds and is satisfied with the consolation of my bossom. She drinks deeply and is delighted with the abundance of my glory. Yahweh extends peace (shalom) to me like a river, and the glory of the gentiles like a flowing stream. Then Juliette shall feed: on my sides shall she be carried and be dandled on my knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so Yah will comfort me, and Juliette shall be comforted in me."
That scripture is so fly for many reasons. 1. It gives a beautiful visual of drinking deeply and being satisfied. 2. It says once I allow Yah to give me peace, THEN she will feed. The enemy definitely was able to steal my peace on this issue way too many times. 3. It speaks of His will in comforting your children, which Babywise condemns. That book totes letting your children cry themselves to sleep so they learn how to comfort themselves. I did that to Joshua, thinking I was doing him good. So many moms who read that book have done the same. I'm glad I learned early enough that it was so wrong...but not before seering much of my motherly nurturing spirit. I'm getting it back.
That's my story for now. More to come.
Which brings me to Juliette. What a difference! Before even figuring out that Babywise was the reason for my season, I decided I was going to chill out this time. Her latch is perfect - she's a natural. The sad thing is that there was so much bad information I picked up from that book about breastfeeding that even without an attempted schedule, my milk supply is still low. I have to supplement with formula and pump. The good news is I found an amazing lactation specialist who is not overly emotional about breastfeeding - she's very practical and helps me sans the guilt trip.
Here's the kicker. From the 9 months leading up to Joshua's birth all the way through to Juliette's 2 week mark, despite all the craziness I've gone through trying to breastfeed, it never occured to me to find what scripture had to say about it. Oh, I used, "My Yah shall supply all your need according to His riches in Glory by Moshiac Yeshua". I would "confess" a good milk supply, easy breastfeeding and even use visualizations. Yet I never actually tried to find the scriptural promise because honestly, I didn't think the bible had anything to say about the matter. This morning at 4am I had an epiphany and decided to look it up. Not only does the bible have tons to say about breastfeeding, I found out that just like barreness, "dry breasts" are a curse. What?! Before reading that, I was content with just "trying" to breastfeed. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Now that I know that not being able to breastfeed is a curse, I'm mad. The devil is a liar!
Anywho, here is my favorite scripture that I found, personalized for us: Isaiah 66:11-13.
"Juliette feeds and is satisfied with the consolation of my bossom. She drinks deeply and is delighted with the abundance of my glory. Yahweh extends peace (shalom) to me like a river, and the glory of the gentiles like a flowing stream. Then Juliette shall feed: on my sides shall she be carried and be dandled on my knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so Yah will comfort me, and Juliette shall be comforted in me."
That scripture is so fly for many reasons. 1. It gives a beautiful visual of drinking deeply and being satisfied. 2. It says once I allow Yah to give me peace, THEN she will feed. The enemy definitely was able to steal my peace on this issue way too many times. 3. It speaks of His will in comforting your children, which Babywise condemns. That book totes letting your children cry themselves to sleep so they learn how to comfort themselves. I did that to Joshua, thinking I was doing him good. So many moms who read that book have done the same. I'm glad I learned early enough that it was so wrong...but not before seering much of my motherly nurturing spirit. I'm getting it back.
That's my story for now. More to come.
Sunday, January 4
A Baby Story - Juliette Anne Laguerre is here!
Shortly after writing my previous entry, we went to visit my mother-in-law for dinner. I told Pierre I wanted to go for a walk, knowing that walks help labor progress (and that he didn't know that...) - but it was too freezing outside. We went to Shop Rite instead to buy some last minute groceries. That must've been enough.
Around 11pm the contractions started again, and kept coming regularly every 10 minutes. They quickly progressed to 8, and we decided to leave Joshua at my MIL's home overnight. By the time we drove home, they were 5-6 minutes apart, so we called our midwife (and I updated my fb status. lol). I didn't feel a sense of urgency, so she told me to try and sleep through it. If it was real labor, I wouldn't be able to do that.
I went upstairs and slept for about an hour and a half through some contractions before I called Pierre upstairs to start timing them again. 2-3 minutes apart. We called the midwife again and headed to the hospital with me laying in the backseat. Up until this point, the contractions were very manageable. When we were about 2 miles away from the hospital, my water broke.
Pierre pulled up to the emergency entrance and got me a wheelchair. I was in a lot of pain at that point and the contractions were coming like every minute with no relief in between. The receptionist in the ER was of Satan (lol - just kidding, kind of). In the midst of one of my contractions, she asked Pierre why I was screaming, and even told us we were in the wrong hospital. I eventually got upstairs to the fabulous birthing center where they took good care of me.
Shortly after arriving, my friend from church (Nana Stillitano) showed up with a hot water bag and some amazing smelling tea. My midwife checked me and said I was 100% effaced but only 3-4 cm dilated (which disappointed me greatly) and said our daughter would be here in several hours. It was around 3:15am at that point. Yet the contractions were very severe and I actually told Pierre I didn't want to do this. I started thinking about getting an epidural, then realized that when you get to the point where you feel like you can't go any further, the end is in sight!
My midwife checked me again. 5 cm. She went to take a nap. lol. Nana and Pierre kept putting warm compresses all over me and Pierre stood there as I dug my nails into his arm. Sorry babe. I started getting the urge to push, so I did - even though I knew I was supposed to wait until someone said it was safe to do so. Before I knew it, I could feel her crowning, and we called for my midwife. She walked in to catch the baby just in time as she slipped right out at 4:33am. No tears or complications.
So in a nutshell, it was about 5.5 hours of labor with 1.5 hours of really intense contractions. My midwife was shocked that I went from 5 cm to fully dilated in 1/2 an hour. I was just happy it was all over! Praise Yah, we have our daughter. We decided on Juliette as opposed to Julianna (which was the big secret name we had both agreed on) and gave her the middle name of Anne (just cause it sounds good to us and Pierre really wanted her to have a middle name).
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm feeling great. Pictures to come:)
Around 11pm the contractions started again, and kept coming regularly every 10 minutes. They quickly progressed to 8, and we decided to leave Joshua at my MIL's home overnight. By the time we drove home, they were 5-6 minutes apart, so we called our midwife (and I updated my fb status. lol). I didn't feel a sense of urgency, so she told me to try and sleep through it. If it was real labor, I wouldn't be able to do that.
I went upstairs and slept for about an hour and a half through some contractions before I called Pierre upstairs to start timing them again. 2-3 minutes apart. We called the midwife again and headed to the hospital with me laying in the backseat. Up until this point, the contractions were very manageable. When we were about 2 miles away from the hospital, my water broke.
Pierre pulled up to the emergency entrance and got me a wheelchair. I was in a lot of pain at that point and the contractions were coming like every minute with no relief in between. The receptionist in the ER was of Satan (lol - just kidding, kind of). In the midst of one of my contractions, she asked Pierre why I was screaming, and even told us we were in the wrong hospital. I eventually got upstairs to the fabulous birthing center where they took good care of me.
Shortly after arriving, my friend from church (Nana Stillitano) showed up with a hot water bag and some amazing smelling tea. My midwife checked me and said I was 100% effaced but only 3-4 cm dilated (which disappointed me greatly) and said our daughter would be here in several hours. It was around 3:15am at that point. Yet the contractions were very severe and I actually told Pierre I didn't want to do this. I started thinking about getting an epidural, then realized that when you get to the point where you feel like you can't go any further, the end is in sight!
My midwife checked me again. 5 cm. She went to take a nap. lol. Nana and Pierre kept putting warm compresses all over me and Pierre stood there as I dug my nails into his arm. Sorry babe. I started getting the urge to push, so I did - even though I knew I was supposed to wait until someone said it was safe to do so. Before I knew it, I could feel her crowning, and we called for my midwife. She walked in to catch the baby just in time as she slipped right out at 4:33am. No tears or complications.
So in a nutshell, it was about 5.5 hours of labor with 1.5 hours of really intense contractions. My midwife was shocked that I went from 5 cm to fully dilated in 1/2 an hour. I was just happy it was all over! Praise Yah, we have our daughter. We decided on Juliette as opposed to Julianna (which was the big secret name we had both agreed on) and gave her the middle name of Anne (just cause it sounds good to us and Pierre really wanted her to have a middle name).
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm feeling great. Pictures to come:)
Saturday, January 3
Weird Labor
It's officially 2009. I'm officially 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I've had well meaning people pray for a fast, pain-free labor more times than I can count. I was finally able to get myself to acquiesce to the possibility. Joshua's labor was such a shock to my system in more ways than one that honestly I just couldn't believe for the fast and pain-free kind - and it didn't bother me. Yet here I am on the verge of actually experiencing one (I think...) and it's nothing less than weird.
On Thursday the 1st I had some "bloody show", meaning that my cervix started dilating and/or effacing, causing some blood cells to rupture and parts of my mucus plug to come out. After that, I started having "contractions". These contractions are nothing like the Joshua kind which took my spine from the very start and twisted it into pretzels. These contractions were simply muscle spasms. They feel good in comparison. Weird.
That's been going on now for several days, these irregular muscle spasms that cause me to dilate more and more without pain. With Joshua I had horrendous painful contractions for 6 hours straight before I even dilated 1cm. Big difference. Today I started having regular contractions every 10 minutes and was sure they would get stronger and more frequent, only to have them completely stop. They call that "false labor"...but it caused more blood tinged mucus to be released - meaning more dilation/effacing.
In my temptation to get completely frustrated and impatient, Pierre asked, "Do you want Joshua labor?" lol. Uh, NO. Frustration gone. Yah is actually doing this gradually and beautifully without my help. I'm not even due for another 5 days. I might actually have a pain-free labor at this point. What a concept!
Behold old things have passed away and all things have become new. Happy New.
On Thursday the 1st I had some "bloody show", meaning that my cervix started dilating and/or effacing, causing some blood cells to rupture and parts of my mucus plug to come out. After that, I started having "contractions". These contractions are nothing like the Joshua kind which took my spine from the very start and twisted it into pretzels. These contractions were simply muscle spasms. They feel good in comparison. Weird.
That's been going on now for several days, these irregular muscle spasms that cause me to dilate more and more without pain. With Joshua I had horrendous painful contractions for 6 hours straight before I even dilated 1cm. Big difference. Today I started having regular contractions every 10 minutes and was sure they would get stronger and more frequent, only to have them completely stop. They call that "false labor"...but it caused more blood tinged mucus to be released - meaning more dilation/effacing.
In my temptation to get completely frustrated and impatient, Pierre asked, "Do you want Joshua labor?" lol. Uh, NO. Frustration gone. Yah is actually doing this gradually and beautifully without my help. I'm not even due for another 5 days. I might actually have a pain-free labor at this point. What a concept!
Behold old things have passed away and all things have become new. Happy New.
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