Upon being tricked by the Holy Ghost (just kidding...kind of) I have started a Daniel Fast that will last until Rosh Hashanah which ends at sundown on October 1st. As soon as I heard about this fast it bore witness with me. I knew it was something I was to partake in fully.
The fast consists of all fruits, all vegetables, all whole grains in any form except leavened, all nuts and seeds, all legumes, all quality oils, vinegar, seasonings, salt, herbs, spices and water.
It eliminates all meat and animal products, all dairy, all sweeteners, all leavened breads and baked goods, all refined and processed food products, all deep fried foods (including chips), all solid fats, and all beverages (other than water and fresh squeezed fruit and vegetable juices).
It may seem extreme for some, but I was a vegan for several years, followed the Halleluyah Acres diet for a while, and was even completely raw for a season - so this is familiar territory for me. I'm excited about it because I'm pregnant and know that eating this way is the best nutrition I can supply to my baby. It is even the best preparation for labor, if I can stick it out THAT long...let's start with Rosh Hashanah.
Sunday, August 31
Saturday, August 30
Good timing
Pierre and I went to BJs today. Just as we were parking, he noticed some weird bug activity on the windshield. It looked like a bug was being eaten by two tiny bugs while another tiny bug stood on the sidelines. We made up some funny conversations that could be taking place in "bug world". Surely the one on the side was the chic, yelling at her man to get her some food (!) while the dude was yelling back, "I'm trying! Bob over here is hogging the whole thing!"
We stared at this scenario for quite a while, completely taken in by bug reality tv. We watched as the bigger bug tried with all its might to get these tiny pests off with its little leg. Upon further examination, however, we realized these tiny bugs were not feasting on the bigger bug at all. They were being birthed. Wow. I've never seen or even thought about bugs giving birth. If I had witnessed it on tv I would've switched the channels immediately. Yet watching this thing happen before our eyes was so fascinating.
After all the wiggling and struggling, the two bugs were birthed and one immediately flew away. I said that was the equivalent of Joshua in the bug world. He already thinks he's ready at 1.5 years old to fly the coop and explore the world. lol. The second bug waited a little longer before it followed it sibling.
Momma was off to the side of the windshield, no doubt recuperating. The original baby bug that had been standing on the sidelines never flew away. We went into BJs to shop, came back out, only to find that same little bug was still on the windshield a bit away from its healing momma. It was all so uncanny, so much like humanity.
Once we started driving, they both fell off (lol)...but what a once in a lifetime thing to have witnessed. The rest of the day was followed by examples of impeccable timing that I could list, but don't come close to the bug thing. I'm convinced we are always in perfect timing. If we pay attention, we'll notice how perfect Yahweh's will for our lives actually is. The orchestration of everything around us is a beautiful symphony. Let's stop to hear the music.
We stared at this scenario for quite a while, completely taken in by bug reality tv. We watched as the bigger bug tried with all its might to get these tiny pests off with its little leg. Upon further examination, however, we realized these tiny bugs were not feasting on the bigger bug at all. They were being birthed. Wow. I've never seen or even thought about bugs giving birth. If I had witnessed it on tv I would've switched the channels immediately. Yet watching this thing happen before our eyes was so fascinating.
After all the wiggling and struggling, the two bugs were birthed and one immediately flew away. I said that was the equivalent of Joshua in the bug world. He already thinks he's ready at 1.5 years old to fly the coop and explore the world. lol. The second bug waited a little longer before it followed it sibling.
Momma was off to the side of the windshield, no doubt recuperating. The original baby bug that had been standing on the sidelines never flew away. We went into BJs to shop, came back out, only to find that same little bug was still on the windshield a bit away from its healing momma. It was all so uncanny, so much like humanity.
Once we started driving, they both fell off (lol)...but what a once in a lifetime thing to have witnessed. The rest of the day was followed by examples of impeccable timing that I could list, but don't come close to the bug thing. I'm convinced we are always in perfect timing. If we pay attention, we'll notice how perfect Yahweh's will for our lives actually is. The orchestration of everything around us is a beautiful symphony. Let's stop to hear the music.
Friday, August 29
What an awesome time in history
My family and I just witnessed together as Sen. John McCain announced his choice for VP...Gov. Sarah Palin from Alaska. I am so extremely happy to have watched this historic moment. Joshua was raising his hands in the air and yelling, "Woohoo! Halleluyah!" Indeed.
Gov. Palin celebrated her 20 year wedding anniversary today. Her husband, Todd, stood proud and tall with 4 of their 5 children as she delivered her acceptance speech. Their oldest son wasn't there because he's in the army and will be deploying to Iraq in September. Their youngest baby boy was born just this past April and they have 3 daughters in between. She is completely pro-life, anti gay marriage, was raised by working class parents and married a working class man.
She is 44 years old, making her even younger than Barak Obama, and is being announced to this position on the 88th anniversary (almost to the day) that women were given the right to vote in this country. I won't even go into all the wonderful prophetic meanings of those numbers.
She never had aspirations to go into government. She went to the University of Idaho on a scholarship she received as runner up in the Miss Alaska pageant...and she received her degree in journalism - not politics or business.
I always thought you had to be "born" into this sort of thing. I thought you had to have specific degrees and experiences to enter the political arena at this level. I definitely thought you had to have plenty of cash. Yet here is Sarah. She was a PTA mom, a "ski" mom (as opposed to a soccer mom), and sports coach. She is the everyday woman who got elected to city council, then mayor, then governor - all because she has a sincere heart to serve. She could be me, she could be you.
Watching Sen. McCain's introduction of her, followed by her speech, all I could do was cry. She is intelligent, strong, unwavering and a tough cookie to boot. The person he has chosen breaks the mold on so many different levels, and brings with her a true strand of hope for the American government. I am so excited.
The making of a wedding album, etc.
This should really go in my yldesigns blog...but I already posted over there today. I gotta spread the love.
We're coming around to our 3 year anniversary. The photographer we chose for our wedding sold us a CD of all the images in high resolution to do whatever we wanted with. We paid for an album as well, but then we got busy with life and never got it. I'm finally now getting around to making our wedding album myself. Despite the money we paid, I'm really happy I get to edit the photos and make the album exactly the way I want it.
Here's the first page after opening the cover (click on it to see it a bit larger):
I love it already!! It just seems so Williams-Sonoma, Martha Stewart, expensive...the kind of book people would buy just to have in their homes on the coffee table.
In other news, I received a message today from an unlikely but trusted source that my father is undergoing chemotherapy. When I first heard my father was diagnosed with cancer, I handled it really well - but this just hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally panicked, sobbed, and emailed the entire known universe for prayer.
I then got on my church's local weekly prayer call from 7-8pm. Within that hour I received powerful prayer from my church family, breaking the panic and bringing joy and peace back to my heart. I also received tons of emails from all over the country from people I only know from our daily morning prayer calls. My gosh, I've never been so happy to be so well connected.
My older brother called while I was on the prayer call. When I called him back he just made me laugh and assured me the news I received was most likely false. I got the strength to call my father and found out 1.)He had JUST gotten off the phone with Pierre who had called him from his cell phone in the city without my knowledge to say what I would've said had I not panicked, and 2.)My brother was right. My dad's tests came back saying the cancer is localized and they're meeting with him next month to discuss options. No chemo has been discussed and by then they'll realize this is all a big mistake.
Lessons learned? I am so extremely grateful that I am beyond covered in prayer from EVERYWHERE. I'm glad that I reached out instead of trying to "manage" my panic. That thing needed to be cast out, and it was. Second, I have to do a better job of guarding my heart with all diligence. Today's news came from a trusted source, yet it was completely wrong. My only true trusted source is the Holy Spirit.
Whooo. What a good day.
We're coming around to our 3 year anniversary. The photographer we chose for our wedding sold us a CD of all the images in high resolution to do whatever we wanted with. We paid for an album as well, but then we got busy with life and never got it. I'm finally now getting around to making our wedding album myself. Despite the money we paid, I'm really happy I get to edit the photos and make the album exactly the way I want it.
Here's the first page after opening the cover (click on it to see it a bit larger):
I love it already!! It just seems so Williams-Sonoma, Martha Stewart, expensive...the kind of book people would buy just to have in their homes on the coffee table.
In other news, I received a message today from an unlikely but trusted source that my father is undergoing chemotherapy. When I first heard my father was diagnosed with cancer, I handled it really well - but this just hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally panicked, sobbed, and emailed the entire known universe for prayer.
I then got on my church's local weekly prayer call from 7-8pm. Within that hour I received powerful prayer from my church family, breaking the panic and bringing joy and peace back to my heart. I also received tons of emails from all over the country from people I only know from our daily morning prayer calls. My gosh, I've never been so happy to be so well connected.
My older brother called while I was on the prayer call. When I called him back he just made me laugh and assured me the news I received was most likely false. I got the strength to call my father and found out 1.)He had JUST gotten off the phone with Pierre who had called him from his cell phone in the city without my knowledge to say what I would've said had I not panicked, and 2.)My brother was right. My dad's tests came back saying the cancer is localized and they're meeting with him next month to discuss options. No chemo has been discussed and by then they'll realize this is all a big mistake.
Lessons learned? I am so extremely grateful that I am beyond covered in prayer from EVERYWHERE. I'm glad that I reached out instead of trying to "manage" my panic. That thing needed to be cast out, and it was. Second, I have to do a better job of guarding my heart with all diligence. Today's news came from a trusted source, yet it was completely wrong. My only true trusted source is the Holy Spirit.
Whooo. What a good day.
Monday, August 25
Back from our week away
It's good to be home. Pierre actually drove through the night after the last session of the conference so we could be home Sunday morning instead of driving all day Sunday. We are both so blessed to have experienced the past week together as a family.
We always make it a point to visit long time friends of mine (that have now truly become friends of ours) whenever we go down to Morning Star Ministries. We stopped off in Maryland first to spend some time with Tunde and Ranti Akiyode, an on fire couple from Nigeria who pastor Jubilee Christian Church. Pierre got a chance to teach a leadership class while we were there and they were blessed by it. I thought he was a bit rough, but the pastors said he could've even taken it up a notch. lol. They had a few things planned for us, but Pastor Tunde received a phone call before he preached Sunday morning that his father in Nigeria passed away. He had to go through the service as if nothing had changed because he didn't want his brother and wife finding out with everyone else. Yahweh gave him the grace to do it. I just kept hugging him the whole time we were there.
We then made our way down to North Carolina to spend a few nights with Marc and Blanca Garcia. Blanca is a childhood friend of mine and they are now pastors of Mar de Bendicion (Sea of Blessing) Ministries. Pierre and Marc could talk for hours on end, and so could Blanca and I...so Joshua was pretty much left to fend for himself. He made friends with their dog, Bosco, their 14 year old son, Ricky, and Blanca's mom, Maria (who doesn't speak much English). While there, we went to see an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls at a local museum. Joshua was antsy so I rushed through the exhibit (which took the rest of them 2 hours to get through) and took him for a stroll through the rest of the museum instead. We enjoyed ourselves.
I had no idea N.C. is so huge. We drove hours to our next destination. When we finally got to Nana's summer home where we would be spending the rest of our stay, we found out that someone had stolen their copper pipes and they had no running water. Nana and Andrew were bathing outside with the ice cold well water...something I wasn't too thrilled about participating in. We ended up staying in a hotel suite closer to the church with Andrew's military discount. It was sweet.
The conference itself will have to be a different blog entry. In a nutshell, prophesy rocks, I discovered a bit more of my son's personality, and my desire/sense of urgency for the "POC Academy" on the upper east coast has been rekindled BIG time.
We always make it a point to visit long time friends of mine (that have now truly become friends of ours) whenever we go down to Morning Star Ministries. We stopped off in Maryland first to spend some time with Tunde and Ranti Akiyode, an on fire couple from Nigeria who pastor Jubilee Christian Church. Pierre got a chance to teach a leadership class while we were there and they were blessed by it. I thought he was a bit rough, but the pastors said he could've even taken it up a notch. lol. They had a few things planned for us, but Pastor Tunde received a phone call before he preached Sunday morning that his father in Nigeria passed away. He had to go through the service as if nothing had changed because he didn't want his brother and wife finding out with everyone else. Yahweh gave him the grace to do it. I just kept hugging him the whole time we were there.
We then made our way down to North Carolina to spend a few nights with Marc and Blanca Garcia. Blanca is a childhood friend of mine and they are now pastors of Mar de Bendicion (Sea of Blessing) Ministries. Pierre and Marc could talk for hours on end, and so could Blanca and I...so Joshua was pretty much left to fend for himself. He made friends with their dog, Bosco, their 14 year old son, Ricky, and Blanca's mom, Maria (who doesn't speak much English). While there, we went to see an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls at a local museum. Joshua was antsy so I rushed through the exhibit (which took the rest of them 2 hours to get through) and took him for a stroll through the rest of the museum instead. We enjoyed ourselves.
I had no idea N.C. is so huge. We drove hours to our next destination. When we finally got to Nana's summer home where we would be spending the rest of our stay, we found out that someone had stolen their copper pipes and they had no running water. Nana and Andrew were bathing outside with the ice cold well water...something I wasn't too thrilled about participating in. We ended up staying in a hotel suite closer to the church with Andrew's military discount. It was sweet.
The conference itself will have to be a different blog entry. In a nutshell, prophesy rocks, I discovered a bit more of my son's personality, and my desire/sense of urgency for the "POC Academy" on the upper east coast has been rekindled BIG time.
Friday, August 15
I Believe
I believe Joshua is obsessed with the song, "I Believe" by Micah Stampley ever since he heard us sing it at rehearsal. We have it on repeat in the house upon his request. If it stops playing he just says, "Again! Again! Again!" until we play it again.
I believe I can handle my 1.5 year old son being obsessed with worship. :)
I believe I can handle my 1.5 year old son being obsessed with worship. :)
Thursday, August 14
Teaching at Faith Exchange Fellowship
Last night I was given the opportunity to lead bible study with my husband at church. When I was first told that our pastor requested we do it together, I was honestly very taken a back. My pastor never ceases to surprise me. Then when my husband came and said he wants to teach about hearing the voice of Yah, I was like, "Yeah boyeeeeee!"
Pierre spoke first from various scriptures, then I followed. I so enjoyed it. I haven't really taught a mixed group like that since college. Looking out into their faces and seeing them understand what I was bringing was so rewarding. I taught a little from the book, "Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. I also taught some from the Jim Driscoll message I blogged about last week. Then I did an exercise from John Paul Jackson's "Art of Hearing God" seminar.
While preparing, I felt guilty for teaching other people's materials and not my own "heavenly revelations"...but then I realized that there is nothing new under the sun and that Yahweh would put His own spin on it when I got up there to speak - which He did and I loved it. Besides, these things were indeed revelations to me.
After the exercise, several people got up to tell of their experiences. That was the best part for me because people got a chance to really see that Yahweh speaks to them and through them, even during the testimonial section. We had service until well after 9:30, and afterwards everyone lingered - still making divine connections amongst each other. I'm looking forward to the next opportunity down the road.
**I almost forgot to mention...at the end of service I received a word myself from a first time visitor. She said the baby girl in my womb is a dancer. YES!!!! That actually got me more excited about this baby than any other news I could've received. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. lol. WOOHOO!! Oh the things I will choreograph...
Pierre spoke first from various scriptures, then I followed. I so enjoyed it. I haven't really taught a mixed group like that since college. Looking out into their faces and seeing them understand what I was bringing was so rewarding. I taught a little from the book, "Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. I also taught some from the Jim Driscoll message I blogged about last week. Then I did an exercise from John Paul Jackson's "Art of Hearing God" seminar.
While preparing, I felt guilty for teaching other people's materials and not my own "heavenly revelations"...but then I realized that there is nothing new under the sun and that Yahweh would put His own spin on it when I got up there to speak - which He did and I loved it. Besides, these things were indeed revelations to me.
After the exercise, several people got up to tell of their experiences. That was the best part for me because people got a chance to really see that Yahweh speaks to them and through them, even during the testimonial section. We had service until well after 9:30, and afterwards everyone lingered - still making divine connections amongst each other. I'm looking forward to the next opportunity down the road.
**I almost forgot to mention...at the end of service I received a word myself from a first time visitor. She said the baby girl in my womb is a dancer. YES!!!! That actually got me more excited about this baby than any other news I could've received. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. lol. WOOHOO!! Oh the things I will choreograph...
Wednesday, August 13
What a reception
This past Sunday I went to my friend's wedding at my previous church. I had a lot of mixed feelings about going back there, mostly because I did not know how I would be received after being away for over 6 years. I am so happy I went.
I was so very blessed by every one's reactions to me. From the youth to the leadership, all I received was genuine love and joy to see me. I introduced myself to someone who started attending the church 3 years after I left and he said, "YOU'RE Yadira?! I've heard so much about you. I can't believe I'm meeting THE Yadira. You're infamous around here." I must say that was pretty cool.
It feels good to know that my work was finished there before I left. It feels awesome to know that my seed in that place continues to bear much fruit. It feels amazing to know that I have lifelong relationships with people of like faith who will always have my back.
One of the pastors happens to now be in the same industry as Pierre and spoke to him about a legitimate opportunity to increase his salary and have residual income, simply through referrals.
Yahweh even orchestrated for my dad to meet someone from that church last week who remembered me and brought his prayer request to the congregation. The main pastor, accompanied by approx 200 members of the church, called my dad on the phone and prayed for his complete healing in every area. My dad said he could hear all the voices and felt the strong anointing.
I write all this to say that you never know who's lives you're touching and how it will come back to bless you when you least expect it. Your seed will even bless those you love. Praise Yah :)
I was so very blessed by every one's reactions to me. From the youth to the leadership, all I received was genuine love and joy to see me. I introduced myself to someone who started attending the church 3 years after I left and he said, "YOU'RE Yadira?! I've heard so much about you. I can't believe I'm meeting THE Yadira. You're infamous around here." I must say that was pretty cool.
It feels good to know that my work was finished there before I left. It feels awesome to know that my seed in that place continues to bear much fruit. It feels amazing to know that I have lifelong relationships with people of like faith who will always have my back.
One of the pastors happens to now be in the same industry as Pierre and spoke to him about a legitimate opportunity to increase his salary and have residual income, simply through referrals.
Yahweh even orchestrated for my dad to meet someone from that church last week who remembered me and brought his prayer request to the congregation. The main pastor, accompanied by approx 200 members of the church, called my dad on the phone and prayed for his complete healing in every area. My dad said he could hear all the voices and felt the strong anointing.
I write all this to say that you never know who's lives you're touching and how it will come back to bless you when you least expect it. Your seed will even bless those you love. Praise Yah :)
Tuesday, August 12
Saturday, August 9
To Whom It May Concern
Imagine, if you will, you're walking down a busy tree-lined street when out of nowhere someone grabs a random person out of the crowd and points a gun to their head right in front of you. The person falls to their knees and pleads for their life, visibly shaken with uttermost fear as the gun presses into their temple. Time seems to stop as everything freezes around you. You are standing there watching, praying, when BOOM! That someone pulls the trigger and shoots the person at point blank range - just for the pure joy of killing. Blood spatters all over the concrete, the person's spouse and children run to their aid; too late. The body lays lifeless on the ground before you. It all happened just a few feet away and you couldn't do a thing to stop it. The image is forever engraved in your mind.
Perhaps you're thinking, "How dare you make me picture such a thing?!" Or perhaps you've been so desensitized that the image produced no feeling in you at all. Either way, you're welcome. I just gave you an image for free that you pay to see at the box office. Does it make a difference that they're only "acting"? Does it make a difference that the people portrayed in these movies you watch are not real? Images of death are being emblazoned in your spirit by your own choosing and you think you will be able to stand in the day of adversity? You think you will be able to heal the sick and raise the dead?
"It's only a movie!" You fool. The enemy has you paying money to make others rich while he wastes away your faith. He has you spending your precious time sitting in front of a screen, soaking in his message that life has no value. BOOM! A gunshot to the head followed by a cleverly written line will even get you to laugh. BOOM! Death is entertaining...until it comes knocking at your door and you can't stop it because you're so full of it yourself.
I came to the realization tonight that I've been awakened. Soon you will be, too. You must be. Life depends on it.
Wake up.
Perhaps you're thinking, "How dare you make me picture such a thing?!" Or perhaps you've been so desensitized that the image produced no feeling in you at all. Either way, you're welcome. I just gave you an image for free that you pay to see at the box office. Does it make a difference that they're only "acting"? Does it make a difference that the people portrayed in these movies you watch are not real? Images of death are being emblazoned in your spirit by your own choosing and you think you will be able to stand in the day of adversity? You think you will be able to heal the sick and raise the dead?
"It's only a movie!" You fool. The enemy has you paying money to make others rich while he wastes away your faith. He has you spending your precious time sitting in front of a screen, soaking in his message that life has no value. BOOM! A gunshot to the head followed by a cleverly written line will even get you to laugh. BOOM! Death is entertaining...until it comes knocking at your door and you can't stop it because you're so full of it yourself.
I came to the realization tonight that I've been awakened. Soon you will be, too. You must be. Life depends on it.
Wake up.
Thursday, August 7
Obstacle Illusion - The Spiritual Man - Great Embarrassment
Obstacle Illusion
At the beginning of the week I was asked to pray on our daily nationwide intercessory prayer call. I mentioned that any lack or unmet need we feel is simply an "obstacle illusion", then quickly corrected myself and said optical. At the end of the call, a gentleman got on and said that I "thought" I misspoke, but really our problems truly are obstacle illusions. That got me thinking.
The spirit realm is like a hologram - a true 3-D image can only be seen when a beam of coherent light is shined on it. Yahweh is the Father of lights, and He resides in me. So whenever I walk into a situation, my light shines upon the unseen and produces 3-D images that I can see with my natural eye. Sometimes the images I can see are the result of what Yahweh and His angels are carrying out on earth. Sometimes the images I see are the result of what Satan and his cohorts are doing.
The realization has to set in that as long as I'm looking at the natural realm, whatever I see (good or bad) is only an illusion. How I choose to respond to said illusion makes all the difference in the world. If I see a bad circumstance or obstacle in my path, and know that it is an illusion, I can simply walk through it. If I see a blessing in the natural, I can choose to acknowledge it in the spirit realm where it actually is and reside there. It's an interesting concept.
The Spiritual Man
I've been reading "The Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. I've always heard the soul described in 3 parts - the mind, the will and the emotions. This book is the first time I've heard the spirit described in 3 parts - the conscience, the intuition and the fellowship with the spirit realm. That delineation makes living by the spirit a bit easier to understand. It's a 3 volume book and I'm looking forward to delving more into this revelation.
The Great Embarrassment
This morning on the prayer call I was asked to pray again...only this time the Holy Spirit didn't let me mince words. I ended up repenting to about 50 people from across the nation (including my pastor) of the root of bitterness I have held in my heart towards my husband. I was crying and the whole nine. While I was doing it, I felt my spirit soaring and knew I was doing the right thing. Immediately afterwards, however, I felt the most embarrassed I have pretty much ever felt in my entire life. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and run away. I wanted to hang up the phone, but realized it wouldn't make a difference at that point - I'd already spilled the beans.
I was begging for some sort of relief, and by Yah's grace and mercy, I got it. One by one, people started thanking me for my prayer and confessing their own battle with sin. One repented of the bitterness in his heart towards his wife, another repented of unforgiveness, another read a scriptural blessing for those that repent and repented of her own sin. I realized through this experience that even though we're supposed to die daily, my flesh is alive and well. My flesh needed the relief of hearing others acknowledge what I had said, and admitting that it helped them.
Why couldn't I just flow with the spirit and be satisfied in the fact that I obeyed His leading? Why couldn't I withstand the shame, as Yeshua did? I couldn't stand the embarrassment of being so transparent with the deepest recesses of my soul. I couldn't stand the thought of people around the country who know my husband, knowing that I'm bitter and resentful towards him. It was a horrible feeling, but I'm sure it doesn't come close to comparing with the persecution I will receive as I continue to walk more and more in lock step with Ruach Ha'Chodesh. Man, I have a long way to go. I praise Yah that He only gives us what we can handle...I sooooo needed to hear those other voices this morning. I look forward to the day when I won't need them.
At the beginning of the week I was asked to pray on our daily nationwide intercessory prayer call. I mentioned that any lack or unmet need we feel is simply an "obstacle illusion", then quickly corrected myself and said optical. At the end of the call, a gentleman got on and said that I "thought" I misspoke, but really our problems truly are obstacle illusions. That got me thinking.
The spirit realm is like a hologram - a true 3-D image can only be seen when a beam of coherent light is shined on it. Yahweh is the Father of lights, and He resides in me. So whenever I walk into a situation, my light shines upon the unseen and produces 3-D images that I can see with my natural eye. Sometimes the images I can see are the result of what Yahweh and His angels are carrying out on earth. Sometimes the images I see are the result of what Satan and his cohorts are doing.
The realization has to set in that as long as I'm looking at the natural realm, whatever I see (good or bad) is only an illusion. How I choose to respond to said illusion makes all the difference in the world. If I see a bad circumstance or obstacle in my path, and know that it is an illusion, I can simply walk through it. If I see a blessing in the natural, I can choose to acknowledge it in the spirit realm where it actually is and reside there. It's an interesting concept.
The Spiritual Man
I've been reading "The Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. I've always heard the soul described in 3 parts - the mind, the will and the emotions. This book is the first time I've heard the spirit described in 3 parts - the conscience, the intuition and the fellowship with the spirit realm. That delineation makes living by the spirit a bit easier to understand. It's a 3 volume book and I'm looking forward to delving more into this revelation.
The Great Embarrassment
This morning on the prayer call I was asked to pray again...only this time the Holy Spirit didn't let me mince words. I ended up repenting to about 50 people from across the nation (including my pastor) of the root of bitterness I have held in my heart towards my husband. I was crying and the whole nine. While I was doing it, I felt my spirit soaring and knew I was doing the right thing. Immediately afterwards, however, I felt the most embarrassed I have pretty much ever felt in my entire life. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and run away. I wanted to hang up the phone, but realized it wouldn't make a difference at that point - I'd already spilled the beans.
I was begging for some sort of relief, and by Yah's grace and mercy, I got it. One by one, people started thanking me for my prayer and confessing their own battle with sin. One repented of the bitterness in his heart towards his wife, another repented of unforgiveness, another read a scriptural blessing for those that repent and repented of her own sin. I realized through this experience that even though we're supposed to die daily, my flesh is alive and well. My flesh needed the relief of hearing others acknowledge what I had said, and admitting that it helped them.
Why couldn't I just flow with the spirit and be satisfied in the fact that I obeyed His leading? Why couldn't I withstand the shame, as Yeshua did? I couldn't stand the embarrassment of being so transparent with the deepest recesses of my soul. I couldn't stand the thought of people around the country who know my husband, knowing that I'm bitter and resentful towards him. It was a horrible feeling, but I'm sure it doesn't come close to comparing with the persecution I will receive as I continue to walk more and more in lock step with Ruach Ha'Chodesh. Man, I have a long way to go. I praise Yah that He only gives us what we can handle...I sooooo needed to hear those other voices this morning. I look forward to the day when I won't need them.
Saturday, August 2
Prophesy vs. Pancreatic Cancer
Last night I went to see a friend box in Brooklyn. While I was there, I got a phone call from my sister that my father has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I simply said OK and continued watching the fights. Amidst the rush of thoughts that flooded my mind upon hanging up, the overwhelming feeling was one of peace and trust.
A few minutes later I felt strongly to call and speak with my father directly. I felt that he was riddled with fear and I needed to address that. I stepped out of the arena, found an empty massage room in the gym and called my dad. My step mom picked up the phone and said my dad was sitting outside, really depressed.
The first thing he said was that he wasn't afraid to die. I asked him if he wanted to die. He said no. I said, "Because if you want to live, you can. It's up to you at this point. First of all, you need to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. I know at least 4 people that have been diagnosed with cancer and it turned out to be a mistake. Don't just take what the doctor said and accept it. I really do not feel in my spirit that you have cancer." When I called him, I didn't know that statement was going to come out of my mouth. I just obeyed the first step and the rest flowed.
He said it all hit him by surprise because he went in for a routine check up and wasn't feeling any symptoms of anything. He was there, chillin', when the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Torres, your tests came back and you have pancreatic cancer. I'll bring out a translator in case you didn't understand what I said." The translator came out and my dad said, "I understand English! I know what he said!" They just told him to come back next week for his prescriptions for all kinds of crap. That's really messed up.
When I told my dad about all the misdiagnosing that has taken place, he told me of when he was 23 years old and they told him his pancreas was so far gone he needed emergency surgery. When the surgeon saw him, he said it was impossible for his pancreas to be that messed up...he would've had to have been having sex since before he was born. They ran some more tests and found it was just kidney stones. That happened when he was just 23 years old. I believe it is happening again and I was glad to hear my dad had experienced precisely what I was trying to explain to him.
I told him that the same prophetic gifting that is on his life is on my life, only I know where to channel my information from because I know where I got the gift from (whereas my dad was raised channeling all kinds of familiar spirits). I told him I know by the spirit that he does not have cancer. I proceeded to tell him by the spirit that he is not going to die until he is a little old man and has completed what Yahweh put him on this earth to do. When he is satisfied, he will go - no disease, accident or tragedy is going to take his life.
I told him not to go around telling everyone he has cancer, not to wallow in self pity, not to even let it come out of his mouth at all - because if he lets fear and depression set in and starts speaking those things, he could very well end up giving himself something he did not have in the first place. He just kept reiterating the shock he felt when he heard the news, because "cancer has no cure." I said, "Well, you don't have cancer - and that statement is not true. God made your body and he knows how to fix it. I know people who have gotten cured from AIDS, and they say that has no cure, either." He told me that his wife had fallen on him crying, saying the same thing - that God is in ultimate control and that they needed to go back to church and press into God more than ever before.
He thanked me for calling and giving him strength. He said he was going to do what I said and that he felt so much better. It meant a lot to me that my dad actually received my words and didn't get hurt by the fact that I didn't call to wallow with him. I love my father. I realized later that if my sister was still strong in the Lord, my phone call would have been confirmation to what he already heard from those closest to him. It hurt me a bit that in her spiritual state all she could do was call to give me the "bad news". I'll deal with her later.
In the meantime, my Yahweh will supply all of my father's needs according to His riches in glory by Moshiac Yeshua. The devil is a liar and a thief, he has been caught and I'm fully expecting a 7-fold return of health and well being for my entire family.
A few minutes later I felt strongly to call and speak with my father directly. I felt that he was riddled with fear and I needed to address that. I stepped out of the arena, found an empty massage room in the gym and called my dad. My step mom picked up the phone and said my dad was sitting outside, really depressed.
The first thing he said was that he wasn't afraid to die. I asked him if he wanted to die. He said no. I said, "Because if you want to live, you can. It's up to you at this point. First of all, you need to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. I know at least 4 people that have been diagnosed with cancer and it turned out to be a mistake. Don't just take what the doctor said and accept it. I really do not feel in my spirit that you have cancer." When I called him, I didn't know that statement was going to come out of my mouth. I just obeyed the first step and the rest flowed.
He said it all hit him by surprise because he went in for a routine check up and wasn't feeling any symptoms of anything. He was there, chillin', when the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Torres, your tests came back and you have pancreatic cancer. I'll bring out a translator in case you didn't understand what I said." The translator came out and my dad said, "I understand English! I know what he said!" They just told him to come back next week for his prescriptions for all kinds of crap. That's really messed up.
When I told my dad about all the misdiagnosing that has taken place, he told me of when he was 23 years old and they told him his pancreas was so far gone he needed emergency surgery. When the surgeon saw him, he said it was impossible for his pancreas to be that messed up...he would've had to have been having sex since before he was born. They ran some more tests and found it was just kidney stones. That happened when he was just 23 years old. I believe it is happening again and I was glad to hear my dad had experienced precisely what I was trying to explain to him.
I told him that the same prophetic gifting that is on his life is on my life, only I know where to channel my information from because I know where I got the gift from (whereas my dad was raised channeling all kinds of familiar spirits). I told him I know by the spirit that he does not have cancer. I proceeded to tell him by the spirit that he is not going to die until he is a little old man and has completed what Yahweh put him on this earth to do. When he is satisfied, he will go - no disease, accident or tragedy is going to take his life.
I told him not to go around telling everyone he has cancer, not to wallow in self pity, not to even let it come out of his mouth at all - because if he lets fear and depression set in and starts speaking those things, he could very well end up giving himself something he did not have in the first place. He just kept reiterating the shock he felt when he heard the news, because "cancer has no cure." I said, "Well, you don't have cancer - and that statement is not true. God made your body and he knows how to fix it. I know people who have gotten cured from AIDS, and they say that has no cure, either." He told me that his wife had fallen on him crying, saying the same thing - that God is in ultimate control and that they needed to go back to church and press into God more than ever before.
He thanked me for calling and giving him strength. He said he was going to do what I said and that he felt so much better. It meant a lot to me that my dad actually received my words and didn't get hurt by the fact that I didn't call to wallow with him. I love my father. I realized later that if my sister was still strong in the Lord, my phone call would have been confirmation to what he already heard from those closest to him. It hurt me a bit that in her spiritual state all she could do was call to give me the "bad news". I'll deal with her later.
In the meantime, my Yahweh will supply all of my father's needs according to His riches in glory by Moshiac Yeshua. The devil is a liar and a thief, he has been caught and I'm fully expecting a 7-fold return of health and well being for my entire family.
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