Obstacle Illusion - The Spiritual Man - Great Embarrassment

Obstacle Illusion
At the beginning of the week I was asked to pray on our daily nationwide intercessory prayer call. I mentioned that any lack or unmet need we feel is simply an "obstacle illusion", then quickly corrected myself and said optical. At the end of the call, a gentleman got on and said that I "thought" I misspoke, but really our problems truly are obstacle illusions. That got me thinking.

The spirit realm is like a hologram - a true 3-D image can only be seen when a beam of coherent light is shined on it. Yahweh is the Father of lights, and He resides in me. So whenever I walk into a situation, my light shines upon the unseen and produces 3-D images that I can see with my natural eye. Sometimes the images I can see are the result of what Yahweh and His angels are carrying out on earth. Sometimes the images I see are the result of what Satan and his cohorts are doing.

The realization has to set in that as long as I'm looking at the natural realm, whatever I see (good or bad) is only an illusion. How I choose to respond to said illusion makes all the difference in the world. If I see a bad circumstance or obstacle in my path, and know that it is an illusion, I can simply walk through it. If I see a blessing in the natural, I can choose to acknowledge it in the spirit realm where it actually is and reside there. It's an interesting concept.

The Spiritual Man
I've been reading "The Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee. I've always heard the soul described in 3 parts - the mind, the will and the emotions. This book is the first time I've heard the spirit described in 3 parts - the conscience, the intuition and the fellowship with the spirit realm. That delineation makes living by the spirit a bit easier to understand. It's a 3 volume book and I'm looking forward to delving more into this revelation.

The Great Embarrassment
This morning on the prayer call I was asked to pray again...only this time the Holy Spirit didn't let me mince words. I ended up repenting to about 50 people from across the nation (including my pastor) of the root of bitterness I have held in my heart towards my husband. I was crying and the whole nine. While I was doing it, I felt my spirit soaring and knew I was doing the right thing. Immediately afterwards, however, I felt the most embarrassed I have pretty much ever felt in my entire life. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and run away. I wanted to hang up the phone, but realized it wouldn't make a difference at that point - I'd already spilled the beans.

I was begging for some sort of relief, and by Yah's grace and mercy, I got it. One by one, people started thanking me for my prayer and confessing their own battle with sin. One repented of the bitterness in his heart towards his wife, another repented of unforgiveness, another read a scriptural blessing for those that repent and repented of her own sin. I realized through this experience that even though we're supposed to die daily, my flesh is alive and well. My flesh needed the relief of hearing others acknowledge what I had said, and admitting that it helped them.

Why couldn't I just flow with the spirit and be satisfied in the fact that I obeyed His leading? Why couldn't I withstand the shame, as Yeshua did? I couldn't stand the embarrassment of being so transparent with the deepest recesses of my soul. I couldn't stand the thought of people around the country who know my husband, knowing that I'm bitter and resentful towards him. It was a horrible feeling, but I'm sure it doesn't come close to comparing with the persecution I will receive as I continue to walk more and more in lock step with Ruach Ha'Chodesh. Man, I have a long way to go. I praise Yah that He only gives us what we can handle...I sooooo needed to hear those other voices this morning. I look forward to the day when I won't need them.