1. All my fingernails must be the same length - even if the rest are perfect I will cut them all for one that is broken or chipped.
2. I started keeping diaries in 7th grade so that I would remember what it was like "to be a kid" and so I could one day show my daughter that I know what she's going through.
3. Before I became a Christian in my first year of college, I was very much into the paranormal and occult because I was raised doing séances with my family regularly.
4. My phone is JUST a phone. No, really. Not a camera or an mp3 player or a planner...just a phone.
5. I'm gifted in all things artistic.
6. I've never owned an animal that didn't need a cage. I've had parakeets and hamsters.
7. I once pulled over on the way home from church to dance in the rain at night behind an abandoned building all by myself. It was a really good church service.
8. I often pick up strangers in my car when it's raining and drive them where they need to go (I know).
9. I have an extreme tender heart for afflicted children and the elderly.
10. I'm beyond grateful that my husband never took rejection as my final answer when we were dating.
11. I used to hate running - until I ran a marathon (26.2 miles). Now I respect it.
12. My favorite all time line from a book was, "Perhaps one did not want to be loved, so much as to be understood", from 1984 by George Orwell...now I realize being loved is way better.
13. I will most likely be the mayor of my town one day.
14. One of my life goals is to own the apartment complex I grew up in, as well as all the homes various members of my family have rented for decades.
15. I've never been anywhere tropical. Will someone take me somewhere warm with a white sandy beach and clear water?? That's not too much to ask, is it?? :)
16. I learn languages fast - and forget them just as quickly.
17. I was once nominated by my group on a mission's trip in Mexico to tell the little old man across the street that his dog (and only companion) got killed by a car while he was out that day. Not cool.
18. I was almost engaged once before I met my husband. Whew, that was a close one!
19. I still swoon over Marc Anthony's voice (not so much when he sings in English...).
20. My true identity of rock hard vegan athlete has temporarily been taken over by this flabby eclair chomper...but I will rise!
21. One day my picture will be on a billboard in Times Square. Not sure for what, but I've seen it.
22. Life experience has made me almost entirely nonjudgmental of people's choices. Never say never.
23. My secret desire is to be a dancer at Alvin Ailey in NYC. It could still happen one day, right? Amuse me.
24. Are these really THE last days? I hope not...too much left to do still.
25. I actually really love my life and everyone in it.
Friday, January 30
Monday, January 19
Tales of a Breastfeeder
Juliette is 15 days old today. It's amazing to me how fast the time is going compared to when Joshua was born. The first four weeks of his life seemed to crawl by like four years. Every minute of every day was accounted for on a chart: time and duration of each feeding, separated into right and left breast details, followed by whether or not he was satisfied at the end of the feeding, and complete with number of wet/poopy diapers per day. Yes, I am serious. It was insane, I was stressed and crying, he was hungry and bawling. I blamed it all on the fact that he was tongue tied and incapable of latching on correctly. The real culprit was a book that was recommended to me by a well meaning friend ("Babywise"). This book had me attempting to put a newborn on a schedule. What it actually did was diminish my milk supply and make me into the Nazi mom from hell.
Which brings me to Juliette. What a difference! Before even figuring out that Babywise was the reason for my season, I decided I was going to chill out this time. Her latch is perfect - she's a natural. The sad thing is that there was so much bad information I picked up from that book about breastfeeding that even without an attempted schedule, my milk supply is still low. I have to supplement with formula and pump. The good news is I found an amazing lactation specialist who is not overly emotional about breastfeeding - she's very practical and helps me sans the guilt trip.
Here's the kicker. From the 9 months leading up to Joshua's birth all the way through to Juliette's 2 week mark, despite all the craziness I've gone through trying to breastfeed, it never occured to me to find what scripture had to say about it. Oh, I used, "My Yah shall supply all your need according to His riches in Glory by Moshiac Yeshua". I would "confess" a good milk supply, easy breastfeeding and even use visualizations. Yet I never actually tried to find the scriptural promise because honestly, I didn't think the bible had anything to say about the matter. This morning at 4am I had an epiphany and decided to look it up. Not only does the bible have tons to say about breastfeeding, I found out that just like barreness, "dry breasts" are a curse. What?! Before reading that, I was content with just "trying" to breastfeed. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Now that I know that not being able to breastfeed is a curse, I'm mad. The devil is a liar!
Anywho, here is my favorite scripture that I found, personalized for us: Isaiah 66:11-13.
"Juliette feeds and is satisfied with the consolation of my bossom. She drinks deeply and is delighted with the abundance of my glory. Yahweh extends peace (shalom) to me like a river, and the glory of the gentiles like a flowing stream. Then Juliette shall feed: on my sides shall she be carried and be dandled on my knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so Yah will comfort me, and Juliette shall be comforted in me."
That scripture is so fly for many reasons. 1. It gives a beautiful visual of drinking deeply and being satisfied. 2. It says once I allow Yah to give me peace, THEN she will feed. The enemy definitely was able to steal my peace on this issue way too many times. 3. It speaks of His will in comforting your children, which Babywise condemns. That book totes letting your children cry themselves to sleep so they learn how to comfort themselves. I did that to Joshua, thinking I was doing him good. So many moms who read that book have done the same. I'm glad I learned early enough that it was so wrong...but not before seering much of my motherly nurturing spirit. I'm getting it back.
That's my story for now. More to come.
Which brings me to Juliette. What a difference! Before even figuring out that Babywise was the reason for my season, I decided I was going to chill out this time. Her latch is perfect - she's a natural. The sad thing is that there was so much bad information I picked up from that book about breastfeeding that even without an attempted schedule, my milk supply is still low. I have to supplement with formula and pump. The good news is I found an amazing lactation specialist who is not overly emotional about breastfeeding - she's very practical and helps me sans the guilt trip.
Here's the kicker. From the 9 months leading up to Joshua's birth all the way through to Juliette's 2 week mark, despite all the craziness I've gone through trying to breastfeed, it never occured to me to find what scripture had to say about it. Oh, I used, "My Yah shall supply all your need according to His riches in Glory by Moshiac Yeshua". I would "confess" a good milk supply, easy breastfeeding and even use visualizations. Yet I never actually tried to find the scriptural promise because honestly, I didn't think the bible had anything to say about the matter. This morning at 4am I had an epiphany and decided to look it up. Not only does the bible have tons to say about breastfeeding, I found out that just like barreness, "dry breasts" are a curse. What?! Before reading that, I was content with just "trying" to breastfeed. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Now that I know that not being able to breastfeed is a curse, I'm mad. The devil is a liar!
Anywho, here is my favorite scripture that I found, personalized for us: Isaiah 66:11-13.
"Juliette feeds and is satisfied with the consolation of my bossom. She drinks deeply and is delighted with the abundance of my glory. Yahweh extends peace (shalom) to me like a river, and the glory of the gentiles like a flowing stream. Then Juliette shall feed: on my sides shall she be carried and be dandled on my knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so Yah will comfort me, and Juliette shall be comforted in me."
That scripture is so fly for many reasons. 1. It gives a beautiful visual of drinking deeply and being satisfied. 2. It says once I allow Yah to give me peace, THEN she will feed. The enemy definitely was able to steal my peace on this issue way too many times. 3. It speaks of His will in comforting your children, which Babywise condemns. That book totes letting your children cry themselves to sleep so they learn how to comfort themselves. I did that to Joshua, thinking I was doing him good. So many moms who read that book have done the same. I'm glad I learned early enough that it was so wrong...but not before seering much of my motherly nurturing spirit. I'm getting it back.
That's my story for now. More to come.
Sunday, January 4
A Baby Story - Juliette Anne Laguerre is here!
Shortly after writing my previous entry, we went to visit my mother-in-law for dinner. I told Pierre I wanted to go for a walk, knowing that walks help labor progress (and that he didn't know that...) - but it was too freezing outside. We went to Shop Rite instead to buy some last minute groceries. That must've been enough.
Around 11pm the contractions started again, and kept coming regularly every 10 minutes. They quickly progressed to 8, and we decided to leave Joshua at my MIL's home overnight. By the time we drove home, they were 5-6 minutes apart, so we called our midwife (and I updated my fb status. lol). I didn't feel a sense of urgency, so she told me to try and sleep through it. If it was real labor, I wouldn't be able to do that.
I went upstairs and slept for about an hour and a half through some contractions before I called Pierre upstairs to start timing them again. 2-3 minutes apart. We called the midwife again and headed to the hospital with me laying in the backseat. Up until this point, the contractions were very manageable. When we were about 2 miles away from the hospital, my water broke.
Pierre pulled up to the emergency entrance and got me a wheelchair. I was in a lot of pain at that point and the contractions were coming like every minute with no relief in between. The receptionist in the ER was of Satan (lol - just kidding, kind of). In the midst of one of my contractions, she asked Pierre why I was screaming, and even told us we were in the wrong hospital. I eventually got upstairs to the fabulous birthing center where they took good care of me.
Shortly after arriving, my friend from church (Nana Stillitano) showed up with a hot water bag and some amazing smelling tea. My midwife checked me and said I was 100% effaced but only 3-4 cm dilated (which disappointed me greatly) and said our daughter would be here in several hours. It was around 3:15am at that point. Yet the contractions were very severe and I actually told Pierre I didn't want to do this. I started thinking about getting an epidural, then realized that when you get to the point where you feel like you can't go any further, the end is in sight!
My midwife checked me again. 5 cm. She went to take a nap. lol. Nana and Pierre kept putting warm compresses all over me and Pierre stood there as I dug my nails into his arm. Sorry babe. I started getting the urge to push, so I did - even though I knew I was supposed to wait until someone said it was safe to do so. Before I knew it, I could feel her crowning, and we called for my midwife. She walked in to catch the baby just in time as she slipped right out at 4:33am. No tears or complications.
So in a nutshell, it was about 5.5 hours of labor with 1.5 hours of really intense contractions. My midwife was shocked that I went from 5 cm to fully dilated in 1/2 an hour. I was just happy it was all over! Praise Yah, we have our daughter. We decided on Juliette as opposed to Julianna (which was the big secret name we had both agreed on) and gave her the middle name of Anne (just cause it sounds good to us and Pierre really wanted her to have a middle name).
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm feeling great. Pictures to come:)
Around 11pm the contractions started again, and kept coming regularly every 10 minutes. They quickly progressed to 8, and we decided to leave Joshua at my MIL's home overnight. By the time we drove home, they were 5-6 minutes apart, so we called our midwife (and I updated my fb status. lol). I didn't feel a sense of urgency, so she told me to try and sleep through it. If it was real labor, I wouldn't be able to do that.
I went upstairs and slept for about an hour and a half through some contractions before I called Pierre upstairs to start timing them again. 2-3 minutes apart. We called the midwife again and headed to the hospital with me laying in the backseat. Up until this point, the contractions were very manageable. When we were about 2 miles away from the hospital, my water broke.
Pierre pulled up to the emergency entrance and got me a wheelchair. I was in a lot of pain at that point and the contractions were coming like every minute with no relief in between. The receptionist in the ER was of Satan (lol - just kidding, kind of). In the midst of one of my contractions, she asked Pierre why I was screaming, and even told us we were in the wrong hospital. I eventually got upstairs to the fabulous birthing center where they took good care of me.
Shortly after arriving, my friend from church (Nana Stillitano) showed up with a hot water bag and some amazing smelling tea. My midwife checked me and said I was 100% effaced but only 3-4 cm dilated (which disappointed me greatly) and said our daughter would be here in several hours. It was around 3:15am at that point. Yet the contractions were very severe and I actually told Pierre I didn't want to do this. I started thinking about getting an epidural, then realized that when you get to the point where you feel like you can't go any further, the end is in sight!
My midwife checked me again. 5 cm. She went to take a nap. lol. Nana and Pierre kept putting warm compresses all over me and Pierre stood there as I dug my nails into his arm. Sorry babe. I started getting the urge to push, so I did - even though I knew I was supposed to wait until someone said it was safe to do so. Before I knew it, I could feel her crowning, and we called for my midwife. She walked in to catch the baby just in time as she slipped right out at 4:33am. No tears or complications.
So in a nutshell, it was about 5.5 hours of labor with 1.5 hours of really intense contractions. My midwife was shocked that I went from 5 cm to fully dilated in 1/2 an hour. I was just happy it was all over! Praise Yah, we have our daughter. We decided on Juliette as opposed to Julianna (which was the big secret name we had both agreed on) and gave her the middle name of Anne (just cause it sounds good to us and Pierre really wanted her to have a middle name).
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm feeling great. Pictures to come:)
Saturday, January 3
Weird Labor
It's officially 2009. I'm officially 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I've had well meaning people pray for a fast, pain-free labor more times than I can count. I was finally able to get myself to acquiesce to the possibility. Joshua's labor was such a shock to my system in more ways than one that honestly I just couldn't believe for the fast and pain-free kind - and it didn't bother me. Yet here I am on the verge of actually experiencing one (I think...) and it's nothing less than weird.
On Thursday the 1st I had some "bloody show", meaning that my cervix started dilating and/or effacing, causing some blood cells to rupture and parts of my mucus plug to come out. After that, I started having "contractions". These contractions are nothing like the Joshua kind which took my spine from the very start and twisted it into pretzels. These contractions were simply muscle spasms. They feel good in comparison. Weird.
That's been going on now for several days, these irregular muscle spasms that cause me to dilate more and more without pain. With Joshua I had horrendous painful contractions for 6 hours straight before I even dilated 1cm. Big difference. Today I started having regular contractions every 10 minutes and was sure they would get stronger and more frequent, only to have them completely stop. They call that "false labor"...but it caused more blood tinged mucus to be released - meaning more dilation/effacing.
In my temptation to get completely frustrated and impatient, Pierre asked, "Do you want Joshua labor?" lol. Uh, NO. Frustration gone. Yah is actually doing this gradually and beautifully without my help. I'm not even due for another 5 days. I might actually have a pain-free labor at this point. What a concept!
Behold old things have passed away and all things have become new. Happy New.
On Thursday the 1st I had some "bloody show", meaning that my cervix started dilating and/or effacing, causing some blood cells to rupture and parts of my mucus plug to come out. After that, I started having "contractions". These contractions are nothing like the Joshua kind which took my spine from the very start and twisted it into pretzels. These contractions were simply muscle spasms. They feel good in comparison. Weird.
That's been going on now for several days, these irregular muscle spasms that cause me to dilate more and more without pain. With Joshua I had horrendous painful contractions for 6 hours straight before I even dilated 1cm. Big difference. Today I started having regular contractions every 10 minutes and was sure they would get stronger and more frequent, only to have them completely stop. They call that "false labor"...but it caused more blood tinged mucus to be released - meaning more dilation/effacing.
In my temptation to get completely frustrated and impatient, Pierre asked, "Do you want Joshua labor?" lol. Uh, NO. Frustration gone. Yah is actually doing this gradually and beautifully without my help. I'm not even due for another 5 days. I might actually have a pain-free labor at this point. What a concept!
Behold old things have passed away and all things have become new. Happy New.
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