My church life...then and now.

Pierre went to work and left me the car so I could join him at church later. He told me to let him know if I wasn't going to come so he could find an alternate way home. The very fact that I would even consider not going to church with a car sitting in my driveway sparked a lot of internal questions. I actually didn't end up going because it was raining - but there was a time in my life when that would not have been an excuse.

Say what you want to say about Jesus Is Lord Church in Holtsville, Long Island, but that place kept me on target. We had Monday night prayer, Wednesday night choir practice, Thursday night service, Friday night dance practice, Saturday night Cross Fire (youth) and Sunday morning service. Yes, folks, I was in church at least 6 days a week...when we had a special guest or tent revival it was sometimes two weeks straight, twice on some days. Did anything stop me from going to church then? Nothing. Seriously, NO THING.

I got into a car accident on the way to church once; totalled my brother's car. I called for a ride and still went to church that night. There were many times I didn't have a ride - I would walk the 4.5 miles, most of which was along a busy highway with no sidewalk. I took taxis to church a few times. There was one time I drove to church in a serious blizzard, with my muffler dragging in the snow behind me the entire way. Those are just a few of the things I remember doing to get to church. There was never an option not to go...and I most certainly was never stopped by rain.

When I first started coming to Faith Exchange, the fervor carried over. I would leave work early for midweek service so I could catch the LIRR and get to church. I would take that same LIRR home and arrive back in Long Island after 1am. I was a live-in tutor at the time with a very nice family who used to wait up for me every week to turn off the alarm and let me in. I did a lot of crazy things to get to church back then. Tonight I was stopped by rain.

Well, Yadira, you have a family now. You can't be doing all those crazy things with two young ones. True. I wouldn't do the things I did back then...but drive my own car door to door? That's hardly crazy. The fact is that although Faith Exchange is my church home, something(s) is/are missing - and have been for a while. I have the main course, but without the appetizer or the dessert. I have the green smoothie without the fruit, the raw diet without guacamole...the pasteles without the ketchup!! Until I find the pieces to fill in those missing parts, the rain that once spelled blessing and melodies from heaven only serves to douse my fire. I love Yeshua. I do. ...and I need more.