Sunday, May 4
Kimberly from Kentucky
Again, don't have much time to write. Yet I have to chronicle that blessings come in all shapes and sizes, from unexpected places. Give, and others will give to you until it's running over. The kingdom of Heaven is a funny place. You sow seed in fertile ground one place, and the harvest comes up in a totally different land. Currently my blessings are coming from Kentucky.
Saturday, May 3
Is this what the Father sees?
It's been 3 days of non-stop leadership summit and BOY do I have TONS to write about that. Yet even as I write this, my husband is passing by saying, "Uh-Uh...no blogging!" I guess I take too long writing my thoughts. I will come back to my post about the summit. For now I have a shorty (I hope).
Picked up Joshua from his grandma's house. Longest I've been away from him (2 nights). He looked different. Puffy, puking, exhausted, yet smiling. Overfed, under rested, yet happy. I found out he drank coffee, consumed a ton of dairy and white flour and basically gorged himself for 2 days. I wasn't happy about how he looked, how he sounded, even his spirit seemed off. Call me crazy. I was grateful that my mother-in-law took a few days off from work to watch him so I could go to the summit. But I wasn't happy with the results. Selfish? No, just jealous.
Is this what the Father feels when He looks at us after we've had a flesh fest? Does he look at us all puffy from eating the wrong foods, exhausted from lack of rest and over work, completely happy as we feed every appetite and think, "What has happened to my beautiful creation?" Does he wonder why we let ourselves get to such states? Is He jealous over His creation in a way that makes Him sorrowful to see us living less than our best?
It made me understand that Yahweh isn't angry when we miss the mark, He just looks at us and longs for the day when we "get it".
I immediately started calculating in my mind how long it would take to get my Joshua back. One week back on his schedule of regular sleep, healthy food and creative play should do it. Does Yahweh calculate how long it will take for us to shed the effects of indulgence to finally reflect His Son?
Man, I need sleep. I don't even think that made sense to my own self. Glad I wrote it down, though. lol. G'night.
Picked up Joshua from his grandma's house. Longest I've been away from him (2 nights). He looked different. Puffy, puking, exhausted, yet smiling. Overfed, under rested, yet happy. I found out he drank coffee, consumed a ton of dairy and white flour and basically gorged himself for 2 days. I wasn't happy about how he looked, how he sounded, even his spirit seemed off. Call me crazy. I was grateful that my mother-in-law took a few days off from work to watch him so I could go to the summit. But I wasn't happy with the results. Selfish? No, just jealous.
Is this what the Father feels when He looks at us after we've had a flesh fest? Does he look at us all puffy from eating the wrong foods, exhausted from lack of rest and over work, completely happy as we feed every appetite and think, "What has happened to my beautiful creation?" Does he wonder why we let ourselves get to such states? Is He jealous over His creation in a way that makes Him sorrowful to see us living less than our best?
It made me understand that Yahweh isn't angry when we miss the mark, He just looks at us and longs for the day when we "get it".
I immediately started calculating in my mind how long it would take to get my Joshua back. One week back on his schedule of regular sleep, healthy food and creative play should do it. Does Yahweh calculate how long it will take for us to shed the effects of indulgence to finally reflect His Son?
Man, I need sleep. I don't even think that made sense to my own self. Glad I wrote it down, though. lol. G'night.
Wednesday, April 30
April Rap-Up
I've been a busy little bee. Last week I had a few more practice photo shoots, then my computer went kaput. The bad news is I'm totally backed up (not the laxative kind). The great news is I got a new, much faster hard drive for my computer that makes photoshop editing a breeze. Other than the fact that I have to be hostess with the mostess for the next few days, I'll be done with editing the hundreds of pictures in no time (early next week?). So without further ado, here are the newest shoots and lessons from each.
New Lewi - My first on-location media shoot
Orville is a rapper extraordinaire. His shoot was both on-location and in the studio. Besides being the first media shoot, it was the first on-location adult shoot that I've done. It didn't last too long since it started to rain, but I enjoyed it the most. Being outside, finding locations in Manhattan that suited the look he was going for, seeing him in his element, it was fantastic. I didn't realize how much I absolutely love on-location shoots until I got to photograph Orville. I strongly prefer it to in-studio sessions. That has to be the biggest lesson there. Oh yeah, and that I'm short. I had to get up on a step ladder to shoot Orville in the studio so I could get him face to face. lol.
Lewinson Family - My first family shoot
The Lewinson Family shoot was also both on-location and in the studio. I got a lot of good practice photographing outdoor play. I also faced a new challenge...Isaac (my godson). lol. He's that in-between age where you don't have to chase him around to get a picture, but you can't exactly pose him, either. Getting a serious pose out of him was near impossible, but that made the pictures all the more genuine and fun to me. They were my first family shoot, and I realized it requires a lot of time. Before then, I thought I could "JC Penney" it and get a family in and out in 1/2 an hour - 45 minutes tops. Now I realize a full hour is needed for most family type shoots. I also enjoyed photographing the full range of skin tones in this family...absolutely gorgeous.
The Rolle Family - my first time with people who have their photos taken OFTEN
The Rolle Family was great fun. They are practically professional picture takers. Photographers building their portfolios should hire this family. They know how to pose and still look natural. They know how to be playful and still professional. Seriously, they should rent themselves out. Jo (mom) said I was too laid back and nice with their shoot. I don't know what they're used to, but they did everything I told them to do without any hassle. What's there not to be nice about? They were awesome. I learned that there are families out there like this who actually get their pictures taken often and come with certain expectations. I need to be aware of that and let them know ahead of time that my photo shoots are way more relaxed. Little by little through these practice shoots, I'm learning my own personal style.
I really like to capture the true essence of who people are in their photographs.
Kim McCray - my first on-location high-fashion shoot, and my first time shooting in Raw format
Kim McCray is absolutely stunning. She has been a good friend of mine for many years, and I've always thought she was beautiful - but this photo shoot showed me how breath taking she is. She was a natural. I had her climbing trees, walking through mud, treading over rocky and unstable ground - all while dressed completely in white and wearing heels...and she had a smile on her face the whole time. It was great practice for the practice "Trash the Dress" shoot I have coming up in May. The pictures from her shoot are my favorite so far because they captured her at the core of who she is. It was also my very first time shooting in Raw format (besides the few I took of Joshua in the house to get a feel for it). I always used to shoot in jpeg because I had a fear of the unknown in Raw. Yet Raw produces much higher quality pictures and most professionals shoot in this format. I decided to take the leap into Raw - and that very day Kim told me she's going Raw soon (foodwise). I was too thrilled. Perhaps I'll make my way back to raw foods, but I'm definitely an all raw photographer from now on. I also learned that I need an assistant for those types of shoots. She had all sorts of accessories she carried with her, and I would've liked to have someone else carry those things so she would've been more free to enjoy herself. It didn't seem to stop her, though. We both had a blast.
"Kiyeena" - my first little girl in costume
My last practice photo shoot of the month was Kiyeena. I have been forgetting to get model release forms signed, so I don't really know how to spell her name. Don't worry, these are all my friends...they won't sue me for posting their pictures without a written consent. lol. Ok, so honestly I didn't think I was going to learn much from this shoot. Boy was I wrong! This little girl was a ball of energy. She was rolling and entangling herself in the backdrop, having a blast. When she wasn't doing that, she was running at me (a la Joshua). A lot of time was spent waiting for her to settle into a spot where I could photograph her. I got a lot of cute shots of her on that bench...little did I know that the bench DOES NOT work with my chromakey green screen backdrop (which is what I had for her in the studio). I wanted to use the green so I could turn it into any color I wanted. Cool. The green backdrop bled icky green all over my subject and the props. Not cool. Even in the edited version, you can still see the green. From now on I will know not to use the green back drop with that bench, or the angel costume. I was so happy that her mom let me dress her up in a brand new costume I had bought. It was fun. I ended up taking her outdoors because it was just gorgeous out, and we got some great shots. Even Joshua decided to go for a run with his new angel.
All in all, April was a great month. I do not regret taking this time to learn and grow. I know that neither one of those processes ever stop, so I'm looking forward to more learning and growth ahead!
New Lewi - My first on-location media shoot
Orville is a rapper extraordinaire. His shoot was both on-location and in the studio. Besides being the first media shoot, it was the first on-location adult shoot that I've done. It didn't last too long since it started to rain, but I enjoyed it the most. Being outside, finding locations in Manhattan that suited the look he was going for, seeing him in his element, it was fantastic. I didn't realize how much I absolutely love on-location shoots until I got to photograph Orville. I strongly prefer it to in-studio sessions. That has to be the biggest lesson there. Oh yeah, and that I'm short. I had to get up on a step ladder to shoot Orville in the studio so I could get him face to face. lol.
Lewinson Family - My first family shoot
The Lewinson Family shoot was also both on-location and in the studio. I got a lot of good practice photographing outdoor play. I also faced a new challenge...Isaac (my godson). lol. He's that in-between age where you don't have to chase him around to get a picture, but you can't exactly pose him, either. Getting a serious pose out of him was near impossible, but that made the pictures all the more genuine and fun to me. They were my first family shoot, and I realized it requires a lot of time. Before then, I thought I could "JC Penney" it and get a family in and out in 1/2 an hour - 45 minutes tops. Now I realize a full hour is needed for most family type shoots. I also enjoyed photographing the full range of skin tones in this family...absolutely gorgeous.
The Rolle Family - my first time with people who have their photos taken OFTEN
The Rolle Family was great fun. They are practically professional picture takers. Photographers building their portfolios should hire this family. They know how to pose and still look natural. They know how to be playful and still professional. Seriously, they should rent themselves out. Jo (mom) said I was too laid back and nice with their shoot. I don't know what they're used to, but they did everything I told them to do without any hassle. What's there not to be nice about? They were awesome. I learned that there are families out there like this who actually get their pictures taken often and come with certain expectations. I need to be aware of that and let them know ahead of time that my photo shoots are way more relaxed. Little by little through these practice shoots, I'm learning my own personal style.
I really like to capture the true essence of who people are in their photographs.
Kim McCray - my first on-location high-fashion shoot, and my first time shooting in Raw format
Kim McCray is absolutely stunning. She has been a good friend of mine for many years, and I've always thought she was beautiful - but this photo shoot showed me how breath taking she is. She was a natural. I had her climbing trees, walking through mud, treading over rocky and unstable ground - all while dressed completely in white and wearing heels...and she had a smile on her face the whole time. It was great practice for the practice "Trash the Dress" shoot I have coming up in May. The pictures from her shoot are my favorite so far because they captured her at the core of who she is. It was also my very first time shooting in Raw format (besides the few I took of Joshua in the house to get a feel for it). I always used to shoot in jpeg because I had a fear of the unknown in Raw. Yet Raw produces much higher quality pictures and most professionals shoot in this format. I decided to take the leap into Raw - and that very day Kim told me she's going Raw soon (foodwise). I was too thrilled. Perhaps I'll make my way back to raw foods, but I'm definitely an all raw photographer from now on. I also learned that I need an assistant for those types of shoots. She had all sorts of accessories she carried with her, and I would've liked to have someone else carry those things so she would've been more free to enjoy herself. It didn't seem to stop her, though. We both had a blast.
"Kiyeena" - my first little girl in costume
My last practice photo shoot of the month was Kiyeena. I have been forgetting to get model release forms signed, so I don't really know how to spell her name. Don't worry, these are all my friends...they won't sue me for posting their pictures without a written consent. lol. Ok, so honestly I didn't think I was going to learn much from this shoot. Boy was I wrong! This little girl was a ball of energy. She was rolling and entangling herself in the backdrop, having a blast. When she wasn't doing that, she was running at me (a la Joshua). A lot of time was spent waiting for her to settle into a spot where I could photograph her. I got a lot of cute shots of her on that bench...little did I know that the bench DOES NOT work with my chromakey green screen backdrop (which is what I had for her in the studio). I wanted to use the green so I could turn it into any color I wanted. Cool. The green backdrop bled icky green all over my subject and the props. Not cool. Even in the edited version, you can still see the green. From now on I will know not to use the green back drop with that bench, or the angel costume. I was so happy that her mom let me dress her up in a brand new costume I had bought. It was fun. I ended up taking her outdoors because it was just gorgeous out, and we got some great shots. Even Joshua decided to go for a run with his new angel.
All in all, April was a great month. I do not regret taking this time to learn and grow. I know that neither one of those processes ever stop, so I'm looking forward to more learning and growth ahead!
Thursday, April 24
Sugar Mama?
When Pierre and I were dating, I would flinch and fight at his mere mention that I might make more money than him one day. That was just unacceptable to me. I was raised with a very strict idea of male and female roles, and I rebelled against most of them - but the one that says the man should be the main bread winner in the house really stuck. We have a term in Spanish, "Vividor", which is a man that lives off his woman. It's a very bad title to have.
Fast forward to yesterday, I said the following to Pierre:
"Wouldn't it be cool if because you've worked and allowed me to stay home and follow my dreams, that I would be so successful that I could tell you you didn't have to work anymore so you could follow your own dreams (writing books, ministering around the world, etc)? Then we would both be successful and doing what Yahweh has put on our hearts to do!"
Just the fact that I could concieve and be cool with that is proof that Yahweh has done a work in my heart without me even noticing He was doing it. It brings me back to a prophesy I received at the Art of Hearing God classes:
"You are a beautiful garden. You have your head down and you're looking at all the weeds. Yahweh is saying to look up and see the beautiful flowers he has planted in your garden (joy, love, compassion, wisdom, etc). He will take care of the weeds."
When we focus on Him and leave our faults alone, He gets rid of them in His time. I'm now looking forward to the day when I can tell my husband to leave his job because my income is exceedingly above what we need to live and be a blessing to others. I'm looking forward to my husband having the free time to write and express his gifts. I praise Yah for teamwork and the beautiful example of true covenant He has placed in my heart. Pierre and I are both "vividores" - living off the limitless life Yahweh has provided us. :)
Fast forward to yesterday, I said the following to Pierre:
"Wouldn't it be cool if because you've worked and allowed me to stay home and follow my dreams, that I would be so successful that I could tell you you didn't have to work anymore so you could follow your own dreams (writing books, ministering around the world, etc)? Then we would both be successful and doing what Yahweh has put on our hearts to do!"
Just the fact that I could concieve and be cool with that is proof that Yahweh has done a work in my heart without me even noticing He was doing it. It brings me back to a prophesy I received at the Art of Hearing God classes:
"You are a beautiful garden. You have your head down and you're looking at all the weeds. Yahweh is saying to look up and see the beautiful flowers he has planted in your garden (joy, love, compassion, wisdom, etc). He will take care of the weeds."
When we focus on Him and leave our faults alone, He gets rid of them in His time. I'm now looking forward to the day when I can tell my husband to leave his job because my income is exceedingly above what we need to live and be a blessing to others. I'm looking forward to my husband having the free time to write and express his gifts. I praise Yah for teamwork and the beautiful example of true covenant He has placed in my heart. Pierre and I are both "vividores" - living off the limitless life Yahweh has provided us. :)
Wednesday, April 23
He IS the Point of Creation
So since blogging about Expelled in a few different places (here, Myspace, Cafemom) I've gotten a bit of backlash. I've been sent links to sites that "expose" the movie for being lies, I've been told Intelligent Design is not science at all and that the whole premise is a waste of time. I've been sent links to Darwin's books to show where Ben Stein paraphrased what was actually said about survival of the fittest. All of these have been sent in an attempt to discredit the movie and its claims. I welcome intelligent debate. I welcome conversation. The funny thing is that these comments have been sent by self proclaimed Atheists...the smallest group (other than Scientologists, that is) with the largest mouths. Why are the "78%" of Americans who believe in the Judeo-Christian God so silent? Where is their conversation? I will not be silenced.
Scientists are still grappling with the concept of how life began. There are various theories, but no absolutes in the science world as of yet. Being a Christian, I honestly don't understand how it's acceptable to believe that every superbly organized thing we see under the sun and beyond "just happened" by chance...and how ever since that marvelous cosmic accident, everything else we see has needed a designer. It just seems like common sense to me that if mankind cannot mix a bunch of random elements into a living being, as advanced as we've become in technology, we should not be expected to believe it happened thousands of years ago with no intelligent intervention (and no, I'm not speaking of aliens who seeded the earth - another actual scientific theory).
For us, the believers and many scientists on this path, the answer is right before our eyes. As I meditated the name of Yahweh this morning it hit me. Yud Hei Vav Hei. He put the answer in His very name. The first Hebrew letter, Yud, is symbolic of the Point of Creation. He could have named Himself anything and started that name with any letter (why not aleph?), but He starts it with Yud - the very commencement of creation…and He doesn't stop there. The second letter, Hei, stands for breath. Breath is a creative force. Even the humanists of today teach how we can create with our words. It's the truth, but truth without Truth is seriously lacking. The next letter is the Vav - the number of man. Finally He ends His name with breath again. Yahweh's name tells us that He created and breathed life into man who then was able to breath and bring life forth forever more with his own words. Let me say that again. Yahweh was the commencement of all creation and life. He spoke order into the earth on his breath. He then breathed His very life into man, giving Him the ability to breath life into others. Yud Hei Vav Hei. Yahweh - the name that has been hidden, the name that the Jews were persecuted for and not allowed to utter, the name that He gave Himself when He revealed Himself to Moses (translated from the original Hebrew into English as "I am that I am"), is the very name that holds the secret to all of creation. How perfect.
This message is not for people who arrogantly say there is no God. I have nothing to say that will sway or persuade them from their position. This message is for those who believe by the Holy Spirit that not only was there Intelligent Design involved, His name is Yahweh, He sent His visible reflection to earth to shed His blood for all mankind, went to hell to take the keys of life back from death and rose from the dead with such power that other graves were emptied around him in the process. For those that dare to believe Truth, I dare you to not be silenced any longer.
Scientists are still grappling with the concept of how life began. There are various theories, but no absolutes in the science world as of yet. Being a Christian, I honestly don't understand how it's acceptable to believe that every superbly organized thing we see under the sun and beyond "just happened" by chance...and how ever since that marvelous cosmic accident, everything else we see has needed a designer. It just seems like common sense to me that if mankind cannot mix a bunch of random elements into a living being, as advanced as we've become in technology, we should not be expected to believe it happened thousands of years ago with no intelligent intervention (and no, I'm not speaking of aliens who seeded the earth - another actual scientific theory).
For us, the believers and many scientists on this path, the answer is right before our eyes. As I meditated the name of Yahweh this morning it hit me. Yud Hei Vav Hei. He put the answer in His very name. The first Hebrew letter, Yud, is symbolic of the Point of Creation. He could have named Himself anything and started that name with any letter (why not aleph?), but He starts it with Yud - the very commencement of creation…and He doesn't stop there. The second letter, Hei, stands for breath. Breath is a creative force. Even the humanists of today teach how we can create with our words. It's the truth, but truth without Truth is seriously lacking. The next letter is the Vav - the number of man. Finally He ends His name with breath again. Yahweh's name tells us that He created and breathed life into man who then was able to breath and bring life forth forever more with his own words. Let me say that again. Yahweh was the commencement of all creation and life. He spoke order into the earth on his breath. He then breathed His very life into man, giving Him the ability to breath life into others. Yud Hei Vav Hei. Yahweh - the name that has been hidden, the name that the Jews were persecuted for and not allowed to utter, the name that He gave Himself when He revealed Himself to Moses (translated from the original Hebrew into English as "I am that I am"), is the very name that holds the secret to all of creation. How perfect.
This message is not for people who arrogantly say there is no God. I have nothing to say that will sway or persuade them from their position. This message is for those who believe by the Holy Spirit that not only was there Intelligent Design involved, His name is Yahweh, He sent His visible reflection to earth to shed His blood for all mankind, went to hell to take the keys of life back from death and rose from the dead with such power that other graves were emptied around him in the process. For those that dare to believe Truth, I dare you to not be silenced any longer.
Friday, April 18
Expelled - excellent movie!
Pierre and I just got back from watching "Expelled", a documentary by Ben Stein (Beuller...Bueller...) about the freedom of inquiry in science. The movie got more and more disturbing as it went on, delving deeper into how constrained our scientific studies are in this day and age. Back in the day, science was for rich aristocrats with spare time. It was a hobby, and most scientists worked from a premise that God exists. Today, it is a multi-million dollar conglomerate and is very well guarded against any belief in God.
Basically the problem is that the theory of evolution (Darwinism) from the 1800s has many holes in it, including how life originated. Yet this theory is held up as a fact in the scientific community and anyone who dares question it in public is ostracized. There are scientists who now believe that life is so unbelievably complicated it must be an intelligent design. Yet they are not allowed to pursue these theories even though the Darwinists themselves do not have the answers.
For so long I've heard atheists and scientists say that God cannot be scientifically proven. Here we are in a day and age where He actually can be, but there is so much persecution to keep the evolution theory from unravelling that they won't even let anyone do the research. I personally had no idea that Darwinism was such a huge thing. I just thought, "Evolution...that's just a silly little theory that leaves the creator out." I didn't take it seriously. This movie shows just how seriously we should take it, and how seriously we should fight against it in our educational systems.
I'm not doing this movie justice. There were so many parts that touched me. I urge you to watch it and tell your friends to watch it. It is not a "religious" movie by any means. It is about freedom, one that has been taken away in our science community. The movie even shows a link between Darwinism and the Holocaust. Hitler was a very strong believer in Darwin's theories, including "natural selection" and "survival of the fittest". It was his desire to create a pure and strong race that led him to kill millions of "inferior" humans. The movie even speaks of how the creator of Planned Parenthood was an atheist who believed in these theories and wanted to stop the underprivelaged from breeding. Her name was Margaret Sanger - google it.
Ok, I'm done. Watch the movie. Tell people to watch the movie.
Addendum to my bhag (two posts before this one)
Thanks, Kelly*Jones, for reminding me...our school will be the first of many. People from all over the country (and the world?) will bring our team in to train them on building their own Christian campuses for the performing arts. Yep, that's the plan.
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